Splitsider

Monday, October 11th, 2010

It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

McSweeney's republished it's classic seasonal piece "It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers" today. If you are unfamiliar, you really should get on board:

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

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  • clairapluie

    This will never, ever get old. I read it last year and forgot about it until my brother sent it to me this year. I must've sent it to 5 people in the past two days and I re-read it every time because it's so delightful.