The Arrested Development Movie Is a Lousy Idea and It’s Your Fault

Ron Howard has casually tossed some fuel on the Arrested Development movie fire by talking about how Mitch Hurwitz is totally going to make it now:

“What happened is that [Hurwitz] became such an important television superstar that he began developing a lot of pilots and he really wanted to follow through with that,” Howard said. “So he put in a couple years doing that — always letting the Arrested Development movie percolate — and now he’s done that. I think this is really now front-and-center in his mind.”

The years working in TV have also given Hurwitz, who had never directed an episode of the series but who had always been on tap to helm the Arrested Development film if — nay, when — it came to fruition, time to get some directing experience under his belt.

“He’s also directed some of the TV, so I think he’s feeling confident about that, and we all want him to direct the film,” Howard added. “I think it’s a real priority for him now and can be in his life.”

Ugh. Guys, can we all take a deep breath and actually think this through for a second?

Look, we all loved Arrested Development. It was an amazing, amazing show, one that is completely unique and will remain a fan favorite for years and years. It deserves all of the praise that is heaped on it! But why do you people want a movie so damned badly?

What is it that makes superfans of shows and movies both greedy and shortsighted? We got three seasons of AD! Thats two more than we got of Freaks and Geeks and one more (and way more episodes) than we got of Party Down!

And if you guys don’t really remember, the show was sort of starting to go downhill at the end there. Once they wrapped up the story arc that was the entire premise of the series, they would have had to have really stretched things to keep it going. Hell, Hurwitz was given the option of continuing it on Showtime but turned it down! The show was done! It wrapped itself up nicely, and it stands as an example of quitting while you’re ahead and going out on top.

So why this excitement for an Arrested Development movie? Here’s what will happen: expectations will be absurd, and the movie will be just OK. It won’t be awful, I’m sure, but it will not live up to the ridiculous expectations people will have for it. And then there will be backlash against Ron Howard and Mitch Hurwitz for fucking with the legacy of this perfect show. And it will be your fault, superfans, because your clamoring is the only reason this movie even exists as an idea.

It’s the same idiotic mindset that gets people so amped up for what will surely be a childhood-memory-ruining Ghostbusters 3. Don’t you know how this story goes? It happens pretty much every time something that is truly beloved gets milked beyond its potential due to the greedy urging of fans. Unless you’re a huge fan of Indiana Jones and the Magical Nuke-Proof Refrigerator.

So really, can we call this whole thing off? We all have the Arrested Development DVDs, or can stream them from wherever. Can’t that be enough? An Arrested Development movie will not bring the show back. It won’t be the same. It will make you feel sad. So why do you want it so badly? Just be happy with what you have for chrissakes.

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