Splitsider

But first some ground rules: no soundtracks for sitcoms about bands or musicians, meaning no The Monkees or Flight of the Conchords, and no film soundtracks based on a sitcom, like South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut or Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny. Also, if they’re a volume one, two, three, etc. collection, they’re combined into one entry, while more distinct records — like the two from South Park — are separated. Arbitrary rules aside, to the music!

#43. I Am Thin and Gorgeous

Do you like your soundtracks pointless? Then you’ll love I Am Thin and Gorgeous, a four-song EP by Javier Vazquez, who mixed Ab Fab dialogue with “hot” dance beats. Much is better the Pet Shop Boys’ 1994 charity single “Absolutely Fabulous,” which is basically the same thing but better.

#42. Mad About You: The Final Frontier — Music From and Inspired by the TV Series
If you’re still upset over the cancellation of The Paul Reiser Show, maybe the Mad About You soundtrack will cure what ails you, reminding you of the cheerful past. Who could forget the time that Jamie and Paul Buchman did something while “She Crawls Away” played, or that other time where the thing happened to “Ice Cream”? Good times, all.

#41. My Name is Earl: The Album

John Hiatt, Harry Nilsson, and Los Lobos are all great musicians who appear on the soundtrack to Earl — but so does Uncle Kracker’s cover of the Band classic, “The Weight.” That’s how an otherwise good album, containing Sammy Davis, Jr.’s novelty hit “Smoke, Smoke, Smoke,” gets ranked this low.

#40. Music from Malcolm in the Middle

This 2000 soundtrack was my introduction to They Might Be Giants — that’s good. It also introduced me to the Push Stars — that’s bad. But Travis appears on the album, too — that’s also bad. But so are the Baja Men and Rednex and OPM — that’s really bad.

#39. Nurse Jackie: Season One Soundtrack
What Jackie is to funny, this soundtrack is to entertaining. Which is to say, not very. It’s mostly just scores, and doesn’t even feature Tor on the cover. Shame shame, Showtime.

#38. The Andy Griffith Show

Lots of so-called homespun music, with tracks named “Flop-Eared Mule” and “The Fishin’ Hole,” mostly sung by Griffith himself, but I can’t look past the album cover because every time I see it, I think, “I’m going down to Emmett’s fix-it shop to…fix Emmett.”

#37. The Beverly Hillbillies Soundtrack

I love this CD Universe review of the album, which has the Hillbillies cast singing in-character songs: “The real surprise is [Granny], who negotiates her solo turns with spunk; a few songs that describe her medicinal tonics and country cooking feature her prominently.” Outside of the disgusting connotation of the words “Granny” and “spunk” in the same sentence, it’s a pretty accurate sentiment, and makes me wish Granny had gone solo.

#36. Will & Grace: Let the Music Out!

The songs are, well, they’re pretty gay. There’s Tom Jones, Gloria Gaynor, Jennifer Lopez (the Hex’s Momentous Radio Mix of “Waiting for Tonight,” woah-oh), Queen (“You’re My Best Friend”), Britney Spears (“Oops…I Did It Again!”), and Eric McCormack singing “Living with Grace” with Mr. Copacabana himself, Barry Manilow. The man who created the show’s theme, Jonathan Wolff, also provided the soundtrack to Seinfeld.

#35. Music From and Inspired by the TV Series King of the Hill
With the exception of Barenaked Ladies (why do TV soundtracks love them so?), there’s, to no one’s surprise, a lot of country on the soundtrack to Mike Judge’s fantastic show, including Travis Tritt, Brooks & Dunn, Faith Hill, and the theme song, “Yahoos and Triangles,” performed by the Refreshments.

#34. Living Single: Music From and Inspired by the Hit TV Show

Although Naughty by Nature, Chaka Khan, and Queen Latifah, who starred on the show, all contribute tracks, the only track that really matters is “I Commit 2 U,” by Chris Gaddy and Pamela Bryant, a song so sexy that it hurts.

#33. Cleveland Rocks! Music from The Drew Carey Show

The 1998 soundtrack begins with the show’s theme, “Cleveland Rocks,” which it does not, by the Presidents of the United States of America, and features such people-in-their-40s-singing-karokee-while-getting-drunk-during-happy-hour-after-work classics as “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” by Bachman Turner Overdrive and “Shake Your Groove Things” by Peaches & Herb, but it’s missing one essential artist: Ohio’s own, Guided by Voices, who’s “Exit Flagger” would have been a much better choice than Edgar Winter Group or Joe Walsh.

#32. Music from the Showtime Series Californication/Vol 2./Vol. 3/Vol. 4
Despite my better judgment, I still like Californication a lot, largely because of the music. There’s Bob Dylan, Warren Zevon, My Morning Jacket, the Rolling Stones, Elton John, the Heavy, and Harvey Danger—and that’s just the first disc in a four-albums and counting series. The majority of the songs are either creepy or about lonely people, or both, which pretty much describes Hank Moody.

#31. The Yellow Album

The follow-up to Sing the Blues was supposed to be released in 1993, but didn’t actually come out until 1998. Why? Matt Groening didn’t like it. Why didn’t he like it? Because it’s not very good. “Anyone Else,” which details (in song!) the love/hate relationship between Bart and Lisa, and “Ten Commandments of Bart,” featuring Homer rapping, are worthwhile, but otherwise, no one really wanted to hear Apu sing a song called “Twenty-Four Hours a Day.” Plus, Homer duets with Linda Ronstadt, which makes no sense because in “Mr. Plow,” Barney…oh, never mind.

#30. Curb Your Enthusiasm: Music from the TV Series
It’s an unofficial soundtrack from Mellowdrama Records (awesome name), but it still has the jaunty title and end credits song, “Frolic” by Luciano Michelini, along with many other of the show’s musical cues, like “The Puzzle” (Larry’s thinking song) and “For Whom the Bell Tolls” (Larry’s intimidation song). No “Gee Officer Krupke!” though. Krup you!