Splitsider

Thursday, May 26th, 2011

Eugene Mirman Takes Out a Full-Page Newspaper Ad to Trash Time Warner Cable

I think pretty much everyone who's ever dealt with Time Warner Cable knows how god-awful their customer service is, especially when it comes to making and keeping appointments. But while most people have no recourse but to complain to some unlistening customer service drone, Eugene Mirman lived out many a fantasy by writing a letter comparing the cable company to Stalin and Jeffrey Dahmer — and then publishing it as a full-page ad in two newspapers.

The letter, which he ran in both this week’s Summer Guide issue of New York Press and in the Greenpoint Gazette, is below in full. The chances of Time Warner suddenly caring about their customers are slim to none, seeing that most of their customers have no alternative to their service, but you can't argue with catharsis like this.

Here's video of Mirman reading the letter at a WNYC event:

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  • http://www.twitter.com/becca_oneal Rebecca O'Neal

    Eugene Mirman's angry letters are the best – the bit with the letter to a district attorney and his Document Prank Party video are insanely funny.

  • Mr Ignorant Thursday@twitter

    Without question, the modern-day equivalent of Martin Luther's Ninety-Five Theses.

  • Joshua Kurp

    It's a good thing the ads on Splitsider are for Optimum.

    • Megh Wright

      @Joshua Kurp Adsense disagrees. There is totes a Time Warner ad right now. Up to $125 cash back!!

    • Joshua Kurp

      @Joshua Kurp I all of a sudden feel like buying Hefty garbage bags for some reason…

  • p89 tech@twitter

    You know what's really sad about this? Everything he said in his letter is correct, but I'd rather deal with Time Warner any day over Comcast. Comcast makes Time Warner look good.

    • Jon Basinger@facebook

      @p89 tech@twitter I used to have Time Warner at my old house, and I hated their "service". In retrospect, since I recently moved to an area "serviced" by Charter Communications, I can say, without equivocation: I wish that I had Time Warner back. Charter has the absolute worst HD Channel line-up, picture quality (HD and SD suck), not to mention their awful custermer service that seems to have no actual set calling hours. I swear that their service center closes at ~5pm PST, or whenever they decied to stop answering the phones in St. Louis. Which is especially nice when my cable/internet/phone choses to stop working on a weekly basis. I mean seriously, at least Time Warner had 24/7 customer support. I'm by no means endorsing Time Warner, but as the old saying goes, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone".
      On a side note, after all the complaints, hours on Charter's online support, phone calls (when I could actually get a live person) and literally 50+ back and forth emails regarding my horrible service, Charter upgraded my internet from 18mbps to 60mbps for the remainder of my two year contract for free (which is about 14 months). That's the only nice thing I can say about Charter. Sorry for the long rant…I feel like I need a shower.

  • Chuck Larlham@facebook

    Mirman isn't quite as funny as he thinks he is, but as cathartic satire/sarcasm this piece goes a long way toward being as good as it gets.

    • Loh Phat

      @Chuck Larlham@facebook Well, aren't we edgy today Mr. Grumpypants.

  • Stan

    First thing is you are NOT the customer, you are the consumer, so why would you expect a good experince with costomer service. The real customers are the stock holders who get great customer support

  • joey dalan@twitter

    You know what makes a bigger impact than a full-page ad in a newspaper? NOT DOING BUSINESS WITH THE COMPANY. With internet and over-air entertainment options being what they are today, there's little reason to put up with cable companies' BS. And the fewer people who put up with their BS, the more likely they are to realize that they should probably be a little nicer/more responsive to their customers.

  • JustaJoe

    Hey, uh, . . . . "joey dalan@twitter" . . . if he has no access to internet EXCEPT FOR Time Warner in his area (I'm so sorry to hear that), and they haven't connected his service yet . . . chances are, he is already NOT USING THEIR SERVICE. A lot of areas don't have multiple providers for service to choose from.
    I'm just sayin' . .