Splitsider

Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

Splitsider and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon Have a Horrifyingly Tacky Christmas Sweater to Give You

Nothing says "Merry Christmas, family!" like wearing a very ugly, very tacky sweater featuring a snowman with a carrot-and-coal penis (modeled above by handsome Fallon blogger Josh Lay). Let your parents know that they didn't raise you quite right by wearing this wonderful piece of poor taste to the holiday dinner table! Our friends over at Late Night with Jimmy Fallon have been giving away similarly terrible sweaters this month as part of their "12 Days of Christmas Sweaters," but they ended up with some extras and were nice enough to offer this specimen of wrongness to us. And we want to give it to one of you!

So if you want it, it's simple. Just leave a comment below detailing the worst present you either gave or received. We'll pick the best, most entertaining entry and then NBC will whisk your new favorite sweater your way. If you're signing in to comment using Facebook or Twitter, just be sure to leave some way of getting in touch with you if you win in your comment. If you have a Splitsider account, no need to do that.

To get you extra excited, here are some of the other sweaters Fallon has been giving away, all equally terrible:

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  • Melissa Morales-Curtis@facebook

    My mom forgot about Santa one year, so 'he' got me an orange when I was like 6. What is a 6 year old going to do with an 2-week oldish orange?

  • J Michael Carter@facebook

    Instead of an annual, much anticipated and welcome cash gift from my grandmother, my dad (who had taken over her affairs due to her declining health) gave me a donation to his fundamentalist church. At least I got to enjoy some throbbing pain for the next few weeks as I scraped together the money for a root canal.

  • Mr. Mike

    When I was 15 my Grandpa gave me the 'Worst-Case Scenario Survival Board Game' based on the book of the same name. Help yourself http://www.amazon.com/University-Games-Worst-Case-Scenario/dp/B00005EB9M

  • Stoked

    Country Line Dancing's Top Forty Hits.

    I don't even like country dammit.

  • http://slaneofthought.tumblr.com Kevin Slane

    My aunt gave me a pocket reference book because, according to her, I "always seem to know lots of stuff," which is code for talking about something other than the Packers at Thanksgiving dinner. While I do pride myself on knowing an ungodly amount of trivial knowledge, it's usually limited to easter eggs on Community or the lost roles of Jason Bateman, not the density of naval leaded brass at room temperature (8.44 g/cm3) or what to do in the case of a "sucking" chest wound (cover the wound with a dressing that air cannot pass through, and tape it down, leaving one corner loose). Additionally, at almost 1,000 pages, the only way this could be considered a "pocket" reference book is if it was being marketed exclusively to kangaroos.

    Still, it's better than last year's gift: A Def Leppard greatest hits CD.

  • SarahBS

    Two years ago my Aunt gave me a weather stick. It was a twig on a block of wood that you mount outside your window. It was a very high tech gift: if it's wet it's raining, white it's snowing, and if it's moving there is wind. It came in very useful….never.

  • TheLeahnator

    One year I received a bottle of chocolate scented body spray that my friend had already used, and just filled the remainder of the bottle with water to appear as if it was brand new. Same year I received a box of crayons and a coloring book from my grandmother. I was 17.

  • KSip

    My grandfather spent his Monday mornings perusing the neighborhood trash cans for hidden treasures, aka gifts for his grandchildren As a kid, I never understood why I couldn't keep sandwich mold Minnie or half of a Barbie Dream House.

  • Adam Sisenwein@facebook

    Last year I gave my girlfriend a bright neon yellow bootleg North Face fleece. I was working some holiday hours at a bakery and a guy came in with a duffel bag full of bootleg North Face jackets. My girlfriend mostly wore black outerwear, so I thought, "Why don't I give her wardrobe some color?" It's been sitting in her closet ever since I gave it to her.

    My email: a.sisenwein@gmail.com

  • Thomas Towell

    My grandmother bought me a pair of pajama bottoms that said "Juicy" on the butt. I figured she meant to give them to my sister, but she insisted they were for me.

  • Anna Wilson Crabbe@facebook

    My mom gifted me a 24 pack of AA batteries once when I was 11. I didn't really own anything that used AA batteries, it was not wrapped, and one battery was missing. One was gone because I had taken it out for the dying TV remote a week earlier. Thanks mom.

  • Elle@twitter

    My aunt wasn't very creative with choosing presents, so one year all of the kids (boys and girls, all under the age of ten) got a copy of Judy Blume's "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." Over the next few years I then got at least 2 more copies for my birthday, thanks to my cousins re-gifting their copies.

    contact: cacoethes.carpendi@gmail.com

  • Meredith Talley@facebook

    I asked for a bass guitar for Christmas. Lo and behold, Christmas day I open a small gift titled "For your guitar". Excitedly, I opened it thinking it'd be a pick or a piece of paper saying it was somewhere in the house or something. To my mother's amusement, it was a small figurine of Barney and Baby Bop playing a guitar and piano. My sister had drawn on them with Sharpie to make them look a bit cooler, as well. Let's just say I didn't get a bass guitar for Christmas.

    e-mail: mt01350@georgiasouthern.edu

  • annie nishida @facebook

    One year, all I wanted was a Barbie Dream House for Christmas. And I got it! …but unfortunately for me, it was on our rooftop and someone had to climb up and get it. I guess Barbie really wanted her privacy.

  • Jehanne Hodge@facebook

    It was Christmas Eve and I still hadn't found a present for my dad. I knew he liked mugs (because that's basically what I get him every year..) so I was going to get him a mug with the initial of his first name on it. But there were no more A's left, so i settled for one with MY initial on it…
    So now he has a mug with a J on it…and I'm really the only one who uses that mug. So basically I got myself a gift.
    email: samarahjhodge@gmail.com

  • Hope Brannon

    Going into my crazy dance instructor's house to see her kittens, I saw a Gushers (you know, those fruit snacks) box sitting on the chair outside her door. I love Gushers and everyone knows that, and I figured they were mine. I grabbed the box and dumped the contents on her porch. It was not Gushers, but actually a stillborn kitten. Smelled good.

  • ahobbitstale
  • ahobbitstale

    My mother broke her leg when I was 7, and she was "Santa" around our house, but because of her leg she was left immobile the entire Christmas. On Christmas day my father woke me up and I saw there were no presents under the tree, instead, he took me down to the basement to show me my unwrapped presents. There was one wrapped present though, from my brother, it was toilette paper and a tooth brush… with price tags still on it. I got a 80 cent toothbrush.

  • ahobbitstale
  • sirormadame

    My maternal grandmother never got me Christmas presents, so one year when I was about 12 and a package came, I was super excited. When I opened it, there were 2 cans of vienna sausages. One for me, one for my sister.

    I lied and told her I ate them and they were delicious.

  • Verified Nerd ✔ ™@twitter

    When I was 11, I got my first "experience of being a woman". So for Christmas, my aunt gave me a box of tampons.
    (@SelenaQueso)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Dressler/583512249 Steve Dressler

    I got a rock.

  • Checka Chelli@twitter

    I got a flashlight at age 16. A FLASHLIGHT. And last year I gave my best friend a hand-written letter.

    (@checkachelli)

  • ohhmads

    My grandpa gave me a pad with an eye drawn on it and said, "Merry Christmas! I got you an iPad!" -_-

  • Niall Robb@facebook

    Last year my brother got me a £1 dvd with money he borrowed from me. He never paid me back.

    contact niall_robb@hotmail.co.uk

  • Amanda Northrop@twitter

    I don't know if anyone remembers Bullseye Ball, but I wanted it more than anything in the world as a kid. Despite my wishes and endless hint dropping, Santa did not bring me my dream toy that year. After emptying my stocking, we moved on to the presents that our parents had gotten for us. I was trying my hardest not to act disappointed, but then OUT OF NOWHERE I unwrapped Bullseye Ball! I opened it as quickly as possible with the biggest, goofiest grin on my face only to find an Old Navy sweatshirt inside. My parents stared at me as I held back tears and thanked them for it. It wasn't until later that morning, when everyone was finished opening presents, that my Dad brought the game out from my parents bedroom and handed it to me. Christmas for my father is all about toying with his children's fragile emotions.

  • A of JAM@twitter

    My parents put out a huge box next to the tree because it was so big it could not fit under the tree. Of course, us kids thought it was going to be something so awesome, so we saved it for last. There was no gift tag on the present, so we didn't know who the gift was for. After all of the presents were unwrapped, we asked my parents who the gift was for, and to my dismay it was for my sister. My brother and I were so bummed, watching her unwrap the gift. Little did we know, our parents bought a new toilet to put in our bathroom, which was the "big surprise." My sister has never been so upset over the biggest gift she has ever received.

  • Patrik Guillotte@facebook

    I once made out a few free hug coupons for some classmates since I had eaten the chocolate I was supposed to give them on my way to school. Everything went fine until they noticed that the hug was from a friendly hobo who might have been related to the crossing guard.

  • http://twitter.com/savvy_veteran Savvy Veteran

    Some guy who was trying to boink my mom when I was a child was hanging around our house on Christmas day and, since I lacked any tact at that age, I bluntly asked him where his present for me was. He stalled for a few hours, claimed he was leaving to "get gas," after which he came back with a small "Ziggy" Valentine's Day-themed notepad.

  • Lucyana

    When I was ten, I received not only a hand-knit crop top from my grandmother, but also Ron Paul's manifesto. When my mother politely questioned her choice in gifts, she insisted that the young people had a right to know about Mr. Paul's political views. No explanation was given for the crop top. It wasn't a bust though- I also got a conversation where she revealed the existence of a secret planet that only astrologers know about. I did ok in the end.

  • Rodney Buck Herring@facebook

    I received an ASS whooping for Christmas from my dad. It was a snowy Christmas Eve '89. My dad decided that since it was snowing and dark, it would be the perfect time chop and stack wood for the blistering cold Baltimore winter. I had no interest in this job for it was the Eve of Christmas. I was already parading around in my new Varsity jacket, jeans and new sweater. All gifts that I had already opened, obviously showing my respect for the sacred day. I was told to appear outside, there was work to be done. I stormed outside in new Varsity jacket,new jeans, new sweater, and my Mom's rabbit fur earmuffs. After about 30 minutes I decided I had had enough! I attempted to climb on the porch and back in to the 3 story suburban townhouse with central heating and air, hence the need for wood. At this point a strong figure approached me from my periphery. I may have raised my hand to the shadowy figure, Dad, in a show of admiration and respect. It was not taken as such. I received a fine lesson in the art of fisticuffs that fine evening. Thank you, Dad. As I landed softly, yet firmly in the white snow of night, I wondered at which point had I lost those blessed rabbit fur earmuffs. They had gone flying during our 20 second skirmish in the front yard of our townhouse. For Christmas, I learned never to wear rabbit fur earmuffs as a grown man and because they may be whisked away by a forest critter, that old men can really fight, and that chopping wood ain't so bad.

  • Allison Paige Gilman@facebook

    Two years ago I received a shiny, golden journal from my aunt and uncle with an image of a frightening cherub on the cover. Naturally this was of no use to me so I stowed it away in my closet. The following Christmas I was frantically looking for a gift to give my cousin, and was tearing up my closet for anything I could give her. OF COURSE I found the cherub journal and OF COURSE I forgot it was, in fact, her parents who gave it to me last year. So I regifted. Which wouldn't have been SO bad, if she hadn't opened it when she got it only to discover that her parents had gotten MY name engraved on the inside cover. Oops.

  • Zootiniskii

    Upon returning from my first year of college away from home I was warned that as an adult Christmas would be a lot less exciting. I had also gone away to school in the far off distant supposedly snow filled land of Buffalo, NY. Combining all of this my parents decided that I had a fundamental need for socks. I was given pair after pair of white socks of varying lengths. Thats the worst physical gift I have ever recieved, and therefore is a concrete answer, however, I was also given the sex talk for the first time (out of a total four, the first three were cancelled due to my uncontrollable laughter at the words used, and my continuous odd references) right around Christmas, to this day the vision of my dad uncomfortably speaking to me and the Christmas lights all over making him glow. Is haunting, and incredibly hilarious.