Splitsider

Monday, December 19th, 2011

The 12 Days of Christmas Vacation

One of the best things about this time of year is getting to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Of all the Christmas movies out there, it’s definitely my favorite. Watching this third installment of the Griswold family was something of a tradition for the Worcester family, and even after countless viewings, it still makes me laugh out loud every year.

Chevy Chase is at the top of his game and the supporting cast is note perfect. Everything comes together flawlessly in this movie, easily making it the best of the Vacation franchise. For more detail on that, please consult my fellow Splitsider contributor Alden Ford.

To properly show my love for this movie in Christmas carol form, here are 12 reasons why I think Christmas Vacation is a true holiday classic:

Twelve Griswolds Griping

Eleven Eddies Piping

Ten Sparkys Sledding

Nine Chainsaws Revving

Eight Trees-a-Trimming

Seven Babes-a-Swimming

Six Clarks-a-Cracking

Five Gold Houses

Four Barfing Dogs

Three Dried-Out Turkeys

Two Fried Cats

And a Squirrel in a Christmas Tree

Ben Worcester will take on anyone who thinks that Christmas Vacation isn’t the best of the Vacation movies.

  • Colin Perkins

    You can't honestly say that it's better than:

    -Eugene Levy's Smarmy Car Salesman
    -The Wagon Queen Family Truckster
    -Aunt Edna
    -Cousin Eddie's "Real Tomato Ketchup"
    -John Candy as the Security Guard
    -Dinky the Dog's Dragging Death
    -Punching Marty Moose
    -Ellen's Rack
    -Clark Eating a Sandwich Covered in Dog Pee
    -Christie Brinkley in a Ferrari
    -Christie Brinkley in a pool
    -"Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes… or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?"
    -Jumping the Family Car Off A Dirt Ramp
    -Clark's Trek Through the Desert
    -Riding Roller Coaster at (BB) Gunpoint
    -The Vibrating Massage Bed
    -Aunt Edna Strapped to the Roof of the Car
    -Stolen Hubcaps in St. Louis
    -"I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!"

    I beg to differ. I am, in fact, begging for the right to differ.

    • JenW

      @Colin Perkins Agreed.

      Btw, I recently drove an hour and a half with an rocking chair strapped to the roof rack (upright, of course). I was so tempted to fashion an Aunt Edna to sit on top. Instead, I just giggled every time I saw my car's shadow.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ben-Worcester/818292220 Ben Worcester

    That is a compelling, non-song argument you have there Mr. Perkins. But I stand by my convictions. The original Vacation is second, but a close second. Ellen's rack though…

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