A Short Story About an Ambitious Supervillain Who’s Jealous of John Mulaney

“Mrmm, yesss,” said the ambitious supervillain to himself, gazing at this profile of SNL’s John Mulaney on his iPad screen. “Now I have all the tools I will need to take over Mulaney’s career for my own.” He smoothed his thinning combover with a long finger and then tried to enlarge the text on the iPad, but had to wipe his finger off and try again because it was too greasy from his hair. “Auditioned with a character from his own standup, eh?” He pulled out a Moleskine notebook and starting making small, cramped notes in a long list under the heading “Mulaney Destruction ’12.” “Performed outside the show so they’d give him a Weekend Update feature, hmm…Mulaney’s career will be mine!” The ambitious supervillain cackled softly, closed the tab and sat for a while, a devious look on his face. Then he checked Twitter.

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