A few days ago, I was listening to "O'Malley's Bar" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on the subway, and when Cave sang, "I shot Richard Holmes in the stomach/And gingerly he sat down/And he whispered weirdly, 'No offense'/And then lay upon the ground," I started laughing out loud. Yes, an actual LOL. So much so that I got weird sideways glances from those around me (thank God they didn't know I was chuckling at a song from an album called Murder Ballads).
It's rare to find a song that makes you laugh that isn't by the Lonely Island or Weird Al, or from a novelty musician, like Sheb Wooley ("The Purple People Eater") or Napoleon XIV ("They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!"). Below, I've included five songs that never fail to get a giggle out of me, and myquestion to you is: what non-comedy, non-soundtrack songs always make you laugh?
“Better Off Without a Wife” by Tom Waits
“Well, an inebriated good evening to you all.” So begins Tom Waits’ 1975 album, Nighthawks at the Diner, not so much an album of music as an album of spoken-word performances with jazz in the background. The fantastically named Bones Howe, who produced Nighthawks, once said that the album’s like “Allen Ginsberg with a really, really good band.” But Ginsberg was never as funny as Waits is in the outro to “Better Off Without a Wife” when he croons, “Yeah, I've got this girl I know, man, and I just…she's been married several times…I mean she's been married so many times she's got rice marks all over her face.”
“Please Mrs. Henry,” by Bob Dylan and the Band
Genius. Voice of a generation. Greatest artist of all-time. BLAH BLAH BLAH. We’ve all heard those words used to describe Bob Dylan at some point, but there’s a description that’s sadly underused when talking about the former-Robert Zimmerman: he’s really fucking funny. How else to explain one of the world’s most famous Jews releasing a Christmas covers album four decades into his career? While “Ugliest Girl In the World” from 1988’s Down In the Groove certainly makes me chuckle, it’s more out of sheer amusement that the man who wrote “Visions of Johanna” is singing about his true love with two flat feet than because the songs itself is funny. But “Please Mrs. Henry,” recorded in 1967 and released eights years later, in 1975, as part of The Basement Tapes – now that's hilarious. It’s the perfect representation of Dylan and the Band hanging out in Big Pink together, getting drunk, smoking weed, and telling bawdy jokes to pass the time. How else to explain, “Now, I’m startin’ to drain, my stool’s gonna squeak/If I walk too much farther, my crane’s gonna leak/Look, Missus Henry, there’s only so much I can do/Why don’t you look my way, an’ pump me a few?”
“The Ice of Boston” by the Dismemberment Plan
There's nothing not funny about an over-earnest Travis Morrison speed-singing about being "buck-naked, drenched in champagne," talking on the phone with (and mimicking) his mom on New Year's Eve, while a group of "drunk Bostonians" stare at him from below.
"Tommy Gets His Tonsils Out" by the Replacements
When Paul Westerberg & Co. weren't writing songs about being white, bored, and stoned — actually, that sums up pretty much every Replacements song on 1984's Let It Be, with the exception of "Tommy Gets His Tonsils Out." The track's fairly straightforward: it's based on the real-life experience of the Replacements' youngest member, bassist Tommy Stinson, who had tonsillitis while the band was touring. Rather than consoling him, Westerberg instead penned a song about a doctor more interested in tee time than his work. Maybe it's because I still have my tonsils, but "rip, rip, we're gonna rip 'em out now" makes for a great chorus.
"The Gift" by the Velvet Underground
As much a story set to music than an actual song, "The Gift" tells the sad story of Waldo Jeffers, who is so afraid that his long-distance girlfriend is going to cheat on him that he devises a plan to mail himself to her in a medium-sized cardboard box. Things…do not end well. Listen to the eight-minute song with headphones, its intended fashion, with John Cale's droll tones in one ear and a staticy, feedback-laden jam in the right, and you'll either laugh uncontrollably or want to jab a metal cutter into your head — or maybe both.
Again, what non-comedy songs make you giggle, chuckle, maybe even guffaw?
@Samantha Pitchel "Stop This Car, I'm Getting Out" is a good one too. As is "Dancing in a Lesbian Bar"
http://twitter.com/joshung Joshua Ungerleider
First person I thought of from reading the title was Tom Waits. The whole Nighthawks at the Diner albums, Better off Without a Wife, or just the intros to all the songs. I always think of "tell 'em Large Marge sent you" from Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
http://twitter.com/joshung Joshua Ungerleider
@Joshua Ungerleider That being said, probably about 50% of Warren Zevon songs make me laugh.
A Good Question
@Joshua Ungerleider
Good catch on Warren Zevon. "Lawyers, Guns and Money" is a hilarious song.
Joshua Kurp
@Joshua Ungerleider Agreed about Zevon. Even on his final album, months away from death, he was still cracking jokes.
A Good Question
Not sure if They Might Be Giants would be considered a comedy band or not. They do have a lot of funny songs.
cheekachu
Awesomely obscure choice of "Please Mrs. Henry." A lot of The Who songs written by John Entwistle are really funny – "Boris the Spider," "Success Story," and "My Wife." Everything Das Racist does – though they probably don't count as a "serious" group. "You're So Rude" by The Faces.
akivaddict
These always give me a giggle:
"If You Wanna Be Happy" – Jimmy Soul
"I Believe in a Thing Called Love" – The Darkness
"You Don’t Mess Around with Jim" – Jim Croce
Megh Wright
@akivaddict There was a guy on my subway train last week who was cluelessly blasting "Givin' Up" by The Darkness on his headphones, and I busted out laughing. He was so serious and feeling it, and I could clearly hear the lyric "Stickin' that fuckin' shit into my arms…" Gotta love chipper songs about heroin.
Joshua Kurp
@Megh Wright HE BELIEVED IN A THING CALLED…heroin.
akivaddict
@Megh Wright I know it's my mantra of choice whenever I 'shoot up' the drugs (nasal decongestant totally counts, right?)
Nicholas Tankersley@twitter
Pretty much anything by Primus: Wynona's Big Brown Beaver, My Name is Mud, anything with the word Fisherman in the title, Shake Hands with Beef, Tommy the Cat, etc. etc.
The Misfits are pretty funny in a dark way. Queens of the Stone Age have their moments, "Feel Good Hit of the Summer" is a really funny concept and name combo for a song.
Randy Newman songs: "Shame," "Miami," "Mikey," "Let's Drop the Big One Now," "A Few Words in Defense of Our Country," "Korean Parents," "Harps and Angels"…
Only Randy could make nuclear war, near-death experiences, and god's dark response to human prayers seem funny.
Just One Thing
"Ruby's Arms" by Tom Waits. But only because of how it was presented in Godard's "First Name Carmen". It's simultaneously a moving and hilarious (burlesque) series of scenes.
B Westof@twitter
The funniest cut from the Unreleased Basement Tapes session is when Dylan and the Band play "See You Later Alligator" but ad-lib a word change to "See You Later Alan Ginsberg." They're cracking each other up the whole song, but keep on playing.
evil_toaster
Beck's early stuff always cracks me up. Some of those songs walked a line between serious and funny: "Nightmare Hippy Girl", "Truck Driving Neighbors Downstairs". Others seemed intentionally ridiculous: "Ozzy", "Steve Threw Up". In his first couple of albums songs that may not have been overtly funny would be peppered with descriptive terms or phrases that would make me laugh. After "Deborah" (and Midnight Vultures in general)it seems like his humorous word play and sense of humor doesn't make it into his songs so much anymore.
ODB's "Got Your Money" makes me laugh every time I hear it.
Par Mahn@facebook
Classic song & video here: Suicidal Tendencies – Instutionalized. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF_a0-7xVQ
Some mid 80's early hardcore where the vocalist's lyrics are mostly a teenage angst influenced spoken word monologue about how his parents just need to 'back off' and to give him a chance for once, but in a terribly vague and unfocused manner. It makes for a very amusing song, with the most memorable part being the end of the 2nd verse where "all he wants is a pepsi" when being accused of being on drugs. It has to be seen to really be understood in context.
You forgot about nearly ever Ween song. I'll nominate "Mister, Would You Please Help My Pony" first.
http://twitter.com/joshung Joshua Ungerleider
@B Westof@twitter Piss Up a Rope is a classic
Connor Ratliff
Tom Waits' "Step Right Up" and "Pasties And A G-String" are both really funny.
I think one of the most darkly funny songs is The Velvet Underground's "The Gift" (essentially a story recited over music), but the version I enjoy is from their LIVE reunion disc that came out in the 90s. Cale's delivery is much stronger, much funnier, in this performance, especially at the end.
Elvis Costello's "God's Comic" is a funny song in the tradition of Randy Newman, who of course has a ton of really funny songs.
"Humans From Earth" by T Bone Burnett.
I'd definitely second "Debra" from Beck's Midnite Vultures!
Springsteen's "My Best Was Never Good Enough", the final track on his often stark Ghost Of Tom Joad album is a pretty sly song that I for some reason find pretty funny.
Stephin Merritt's songs are almost always witty even if they aren't aiming to be laugh-out-loud funny, but I'd cite "The Nun's Litany" as a song that qualifies.
I don't know if anyone at all will agree with me that "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want" by The Smiths is funny. I think there is something about having that many "Please's" and "Let Me's" that automatically qualifies as legitimately comedic. (Rule Of Three?)
http://readingintoit.tumblr.com/ Jennifer
Gwar – Fucking an animal.
Allison McArthur Gillespie@facebook
Ben Folds — Bastard
Anything by The Mountain Goats has a dark twisted sense of humor…
Emerson Dameron@twitter
Rap lyrics in general tend to be heavily comedic. I feel a bit sorry for anyone who can listen to all that boasting and shit-talk and not giggle.
Rob
I'd Love Just Once to See You, by the Beach Boys. Seriously, listen to the whole thing. Johnny Carson by the Beach Boys is kind of funny too, but it may not have been intended that way.
Adam Coe@facebook
If you can find it (it's not real tough), listen to Better Off Without A Wife from Tom's mostly unofficial "bootleg" (it was recorded for a Denver radio broadcast but evidently never put on the air due to Tom's condition while he recorded…which only serves to make it better) called Dime Store Novels…the whole record is great, just Tom playing piano and guitar, telling stories and getting rather drunk, playing for just a smattering of people. Wonderful.
Also honourable mentions to Lyle Lovett's "She's No Lady" and The Beautiful South's "The Woman In The Wall." Oh and of course the mandatory "Alice's Restaurant" from Arlo Guthrie. And as mentioned above, a lot of the Smiths/Morrissey is very tongue in cheek…see "I Have Forgiven Jesus" and "Girlfriend In A Coma."
cece
The first one that comes to mind is Jennifer Lopez's "Jenny from the Block" I love the line "I am real, even on Oprah" How can a person seriously sing that lyric without laughing?
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A few days ago, I was listening to "O'Malley's Bar" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on the subway, and when Cave sang, "I shot Richard Holmes in the stomach/And gingerly he sat down/And he whispered weirdly, 'No offense'/And then lay upon the ground," I started laughing out loud. Yes, an actual LOL. So much so that I got weird sideways glances from those around me (thank God they didn't know I was chuckling at a song from an album called Murder Ballads).
