Splitsider

Friday, June 8th, 2012

Follow Friday: @JohnMoe

Everybody is a comedian on Twitter, but only a select few are worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we'll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual who consistently makes us laugh. You're welcome.

(If you're reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets.)

John Moe will always be known as the inventor of #ghostcatchers, an incredibly stupid and brilliant twitter hashtag that parodies the stupid and brilliant Ghostbusters theme song.

When you're all alone! And something's wrong! I wonder if it's ghosts! Do you think it might be? Ghost catchers!
@johnmoe
John Moe
If there's something strange! In your neighborhood! Your neighborhood is strange! DON'T LIVE THERE!
@johnmoe
John Moe
When there's something deep! / in your heart! / Maybe it's sorrow! / Yep! Sorrow! #EmoGhostcatchers #Ghostcatchers
@johnmoe
John Moe

And there are many more where that came from. However @JohnMoe is more than just Bernie Taupin's biggest competition – he's the man behind McSweeney's Pop Song Correspondences series, the host of the Minnesota Public Radio bimonthly live show Wits and one of the world's greatest fathers.

"Jim Davis just keeps coming up with great new ideas for Garfield!" - my newly disowned son
@johnmoe
John Moe
The 11yo and I found an old oscilloscope on a stump on our walk and carried it a mile home. It was heavy but hey, free oscilloscope.
@johnmoe
John Moe

John Moe has nothing to hide.

TERRIBLE SECRETS. RT @: What gets spilled most often in your kitchen?
@johnmoe
John Moe

He empathizes.

I bet the hardest job at a chicken processing plant belongs to the person in charge of naming all the chickens.
@johnmoe
John Moe

Even with felt.

I bet the Muppets' least favorite part about being immortal is watching all the people they love grow old and die.
@johnmoe
John Moe

John unearthed the actual meaning behind a Peter Gabriel classic.

Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" is pretty good but I still prefer the original Three Stooges version.
@johnmoe
John Moe

Moe isn't afraid of anthropomorphic gum.

A pack of gum asking questions, I suppose. RT @ What's the coolest thing you've seen on the internet today?
@johnmoe
John Moe

He knows how Eric Clapton can earn some extra cash.

"In a white room / man, I'm hungry / for some tacos" #EricClaptonWantsSomeTacos
@johnmoe
John Moe
"What do you do when you get hungry / And tacos aren't waiting by your side?" #EricClaptonWantsSomeTacos
@johnmoe
John Moe

John knows how to stick it to teenager deities.

I wonder how the band in heaven handles it when Jim Morrison brings in new lyrics.
@johnmoe
John Moe
"Siri, why do guys lose interest in reading my books pretty soon after college is over?" - Jack Kerouac's iPhone commercial
@johnmoe
John Moe

Moe is the most legit Bruce Springsteen fan in the world.

"One time, I saw Springsteen play a five hour concert." "Huh. I was at his four day show in '78. Thunder Road alone was nine hours."
@johnmoe
John Moe
"I went to his three year concert in Jersey. We ran out of food so we ate the stadium. Most of us died. Great show."
@johnmoe
John Moe
"I'm still at the show he began in 1538. It lasts til 3538. But there'll probably be an encore."
@johnmoe
John Moe
"Oh, well, I prefer his earlier stuff. Dawn of time era. The band was more raw back then."
@johnmoe
John Moe

He figured out Steven Tyler.

Steven Tyler on American Idol keeps saying "over the top" as a compliment, even though it means overplayed, hammy, and... ah. Never mind.
@johnmoe
John Moe

John moonlights as a sports reporter.

Tyson Chandler was named NBA Defensive Player of the Year. When told he won, Chandler said, "What? Who sent you? What do you want from me?!"
@johnmoe
John Moe

He wishes the postgame press conferences weren't so redundant.

I'd like to see an atheist athlete thank the cold relentless chaos of the universe after a big game.
@johnmoe
John Moe

Moe can see into Fun.'s future.

That "We Are Young" song is gonna be turbo awesome when that band is 50 and playing casinos.
@johnmoe
John Moe

He has the best excuse in the world for not returning your emails.

John can probably use some self-esteem.

I'm very surprised to find myself playing the leading role in my life. I always pictured myself as more the best friend type.
@johnmoe
John Moe

Roger Cormier is the wacky neighbor in your multi-camera life.