Everybody is a comedian on Twitter, but only a select few are worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we'll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual who consistently makes us laugh. You're welcome.
(If you're reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets.)
Odds are that you already are familiar with Megan Amram's twitter account. From around June of 2010 through now Amram has amassed over 228,000 twitter followers just by being funny, which led to a gig writing on the Oscars and being the subject of interviews on Last Call with Carson Daly and this very website. But it isn't very often that someone is hired to join the writing staff of one of the best comedies on television. To celebrate Amram's next phase of her career — writing for Parks and Recreation, let's get to know her a little better.
Megan Amram is a positive person.
I'm having an amazing day!! I feel like I got assigned to the front of a human centipede!!
She's curious about other cultures.
I wonder if #YOLO trends in India
Megan will make you think twice about using your cell phone.
SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who's ever used a cell phone will die
Amram is aware of her physical assets and weaknesses.
The sexiest part about me is my vagina. The least sexy part about me is my other vagina.
Her father is dead.
My dad is in such a food coma after he ate all that Drano
Megan has incredibly old glue.
This glue dries so fast it must be Seabiscuit!
She is probably really great at Clue.
I'm the only one who knows this is a murder mystery dinner
Drinking really helps calm the social anxiety involved with driving a school bus
Megan grew up faster than most other people.
In 9th grade, my teacher was arrested for trying to have sex with a student. Home school was the worst.
She is the one who has most recently seen Haddaway.
"What is love?" - Haddaway on Jeopardy!
Megan may be a hoarder.
I don't trust banks. I keep all my blood under my mattress.
Amram ruined every joke you ever heard about the fun loving rabbi, priest and minister that enjoyed an adult beverage every now and then.
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Their lack of faith due to God forsaking mankind has driven them to alcoholism.
She is always looking to improve herself.
My New Years Risotto: figure out autocorrect
Megan is an amateur mixologist.
I invented this super cool handshake but I don't think I blended it long enough
Megan knows how to make all children feel special.
Smart children are gifted. Adopted children are regifted.
She imagines a better world for herself and others on Christmas Eve.
I wish Jesus had started Shit My Dad Says
Amram is one with nature.
A little bird told me I'm schizophrenic
Megan is a history buff.
Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph.
Amram is kind of a drunk.
This is a pretty shitty flash mob. It's in my living room, only my family showed up, and they're just telling me to stop drinking.
But she's working hard to get to the bottom of her issues.
I'm only stripping to put myself through therapy
Roger Cormier wishes that he read the fine print on his cell phone contract.