Splitsider

Friday, October 12th, 2012

'The Onion's Joe Biden Beats Paul Ryan and the Real Biden at the Debate

Beloved Onion character "Vice President Joe Biden" live-tweeted real-life person Joe Biden and real-life Republican Paul Ryan's big debate last night, and the results were pretty glorious. The Onion also covered the debate last night, with a series of stories about "Joe Biden" and his debate behavior, which involved vomiting onstage, having his rowdy friends removed from the debate hall by security, and made out with Janna Ryan in front of a slew of spectators, concluding the whole thing in a surprisingly heartfelt speech:

"'Over the years I have been made an object of mockery and ridicule. I have seen pictures of me in the most humiliating positions you can think of plastered across newspapers all over the world. I have been treated as a punch line. A dope. A fuckin’ jester among kings. But don’t be fooled. I am also a man who has touched sorrow. And I am a son of a bitch who has spent nearly seven decades on the razor’s edge and lived to tell the tale. I may not say it often, and I may never say it again, but I wish to say to you now that I am also a man worthy of love. And worthy of respect.'

'Thank you all so damn much,' Biden added. 'I just…I love this country, man.'"

Here are some of The Onion's best Biden tweets from last night:

Have some debate bullshit I got to do tonight.
@OnionPolitics
Onion Politics

Hey @, that's how you make a fucking point #debates
@OnionPolitics
Onion Politics
Time for a quick story about that Wisconsin woman named Janna Ryan who never experienced an orgasm #debates
@OnionPolitics
Onion Politics
Definitely gotta keep Planned Parenthood. Can't tell you how many times they've bailed me out over the years #debates
@OnionPolitics
Onion Politics
So what's the deal, any shit happening off-campus after this thing? #debates
@OnionPolitics
Onion Politics
  • http://twitter.com/Gr8houseofHumor Z Ghouse

    Cannot get enough Biden coverage on The Onion! The Biden tweets are great. When you read them as if it were Biden in a leather jumpsuit saying it, they are absolutely hilarious: "Got some debate bullshit I gotta do tonight." And the Janna Ryan tweet was awesome.