Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we'll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.
(If you're reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)
Kdn (@kdn13) wants to talk about something.
"My turn! My turn!" -Conversations
So please don't be like the Hathaways.
I bet Anne Hathaway's parents still play the "quiet game" with her.
Or like a certain trendsetter.
Now that everyone wishes Taylor Swift would go away, I think we can all agree that Kanye West was ahead of his time.
And she isn't going to feel like talking in the afternoon.
Being visible on g-chat feels like I forgot to wear a bra to work.
You're probably just bragging anyway.
If your life has unfolded as you had hoped, please keep it to yourself.
Some of us have exposed wiring.
The richer the person, the more hidden their TV and stereo wires.
Kdn knows what the game is.
Twitter has become a game of: "My Depression is wittier than your Depression."
She knows of a lot of games.
My old lover is back. Now I must prepare for months of tears, screams, mad love, and nervous diarrhea. Oh, Football!
It would be preferable for her if they were indoors.
Before heading out for the night, I blow a kiss to my TV and whisper to my couch, "I'll miss you, love. So much."
Some games are better played away from spying eyes.
Shall we get high and try to tell Christopher Walken and Jon Voight apart?
Kdn is capable of a healthy self-image.
Whenever I feel threatened by another woman, I just tell myself that I AM BEYONCE and she is Rihanna.
She is a proud American.
When I'm too lazy to understand something, I simply label it as "pretentious" and move on. I am an American.
Who has carefully studied air guitar contests.
If you want to know what a guy's orgasm face looks like, ask him to play air guitar.
And doesn't chew gum like a neanderthal.
When the End of Days arrive, let's first devour those who chew gum with their mouths open.
Kdn goes to therapy.
Mom: "You still seeing the talking doctor?" Me: "Yes, I'm still in therapy." #HomeForHolidays
But she isn't a "real" cat lady.
If by "cat lady" you mean a woman who steals men's hearts and feeds them to her cats, then fuck yeah that's me.
Kdn has a code she lives by.
When in doubt either add more butter, further dim the lights, or don't hit send.
She has dreams.
Sometimes I wish I was a puppy that belonged to a gay couple.
I just want a guy who knows which songs not to talk over.
Some not as much.
I just want to dislike others without them disliking me back.