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Follow Friday: Sofiya Alexandra (@thesofiya)

Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)

Sofiya Alexandra (@thesofiya) is a comedian, writer, “eater” and “defecator” and a kind enough individual to share some of the wisdom behind a few of her funny tweets.

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“So I have a serious Beyonce problem. I even tweeted about her and only her for a week straight (B’Week). Basically, I am in love with her and her powerful thighs and her jams and with how boss she is, but as I am a living breathing thinking person, I have a hard time with her lyrics. So I just combined all the messages of her songs into one song to show how ridiculous they are taken together. Of course people have tweeted me actual song guesses about 1,889,829 times, for which I am forever grateful.”

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“I was thinking about the unsexiest beej ever and this made me laugh in my head, because men would still be very interested in this beej.”

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“Horses are very majestic and and have stunning large eyes but they threaten me with their wild beauty and unbridled sexuality, and so they have to be murdered, I mean FED DELICIOUS OATS with a knife.”

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“I think we can all agree that children are beautiful morons. HOW HARD IS IT TO BE A GROWN PERSON CLAYTON.”

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“I just thought it was important to let young women know about the dangers of bears so they can make better choices than I did as a teenager. I mean I’m putting 6 cubs through salmon hunting college by myself, and even though I wouldn’t trade them for the world, I really wish someone had given me this advice when I was young.”

Despite raising six children, Sofiya keeps up with the latest fashion trends.

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Sometimes looking too good for her own good.

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She is a bit out of touch when it comes to funereal etiquette.

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At least she knows better than to get into the weather.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/301816295400296449″]

Alexandra keeps in shape through rigorous exercise.

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And keeping sane with a second career.

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Sofiya knows why you are alone.

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She has found fault with the world’s atlas.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/164755924249083905″]

And with Winnie the Pooh’s vernacular.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/116228637182787585″]

Winnie probably starts twitter hashtags.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/322026394609651712″]

Alexandra doesn’t want to bother with your played out set-ups.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/187228835706707968″]

Sofiya is made of guts.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/327559941353254912″]

The Golden Girls is her favorite show.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/318789068072824832″]

When Full House isn’t on.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/324237509326426112″]

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