Vine 5 Film Festival: Absolutely No Lemons

Vine is a toy from Twitter that challenges users to make the most profound work ever committed to video in exactly six seconds. Or at the very least, challenges comedians to bring a little more laughter into this world. Every Tuesday we showcase five of the funniest short shorts of the past week.

Your RSS feed might be difficult and not show the videos, but trust us – they are there.

This week on Vine the parallels between Kanye West and Cookie Monster finally revealed themselves, midwives that barely passed their mmidwife take home exam were put to the test, pimps got the love they deserve, the lemon people lawyered up, and multi-tasking was put to task.

“Music Turned Off: Kanye West”
By Tom Vrab

Cookie related vining this past week: who did it better?

Vrab also has the funny How to Ruin Intense Acting Pt 2 on his side of this week’s ledger, so Tom takes it this round over the hopelessly addicted blue thing whose employers refuse to send to rehab, lest those precious ratings start to decrease.

“Worst Midwives Ever 2”
By Sunny Mabrey
With Lisa Ross and Arielle Vandenberg

A significant achievement compared to part 1, Mabrey and company learned to use a ton of quick shots to convey the humorous chaos of the world’s worst midwives. Where did that dog come from? Do we want to know where the dog came from?

“#WhiteMen #Pimps”
By Conner O’Malley

UCB improviser Conner O’Malley uses Vine to play an unseen character that seems to model himself after a not particularly smart frat guy who idolizes Patrick Bateman. The character loves to approach affluent men in their cars. When they acknowledge his existence, O’Malley gushes over them until they know to ignore him. He is not beneath asking two guys on a Vespa for 5K. He refers to all men as “pimps.”

O’Malley showed off his fearlessness and insanity with this classic:

“By Order of the Citrus Control Board of California. Case No: 23L7FTW”
By Will Sasso

Sasso fooled some people into believing this was real, just off of the attitude he conveys in the vine. It really seems like he’s on the verge of screaming or crying that he is legally no longer allowed to continue with the lemon meme that helped make him famous on the app, but if you view the video where you can pause it, you can see that the letter is completely fake. There have been one or two vines previously where freezing a vine was a part of the joke, but in “By Order” it was completely necessary to understand the humor.

“Bad Makeout Form Part 3”
By Nick Youssef

Youssef also asked where the rest of an automobile was, but opening up the conversation about whether it’s okay to get romantic with somebody while listening to a comedy podcast is simply way more important. The 21st century version of George Costanza’s quest to combine all of the things he loved, Youssef was kind enough to his paramour to not eat the pastrami sandwich, yet could still not get away with ultimately and inadvertently loving Scott Aukerman, Marc Maron, Doug Benson et al. too passionately by association. Why did Seinfeld pick Marcus Johns to collaborate with again?

Playing in Theater 2

Poor New Roll Wasn’t Told the ‘Hole’ Story by Tom Megalis

Also this week in the #toilethumor section: Ted Travelstead singing a song about night pooping.

Confident Tomato by Omegan

Christina Aguilera is even popular with produce.

I Like to Break the Rules by Christian Delgrosso

His arm movement as he ran down the street really sold it.

I Hate James Franco by Fred Stoller

I never want to know if the guy in the background was meant to be there or not.

FOR SALE: American Girl Doll – Failed Child Star series by King Daddy

Some people prefer King Daddy’s “SSSSSilly Ape > Stupid Human.” I don’t begrudge them for their wrong opinions.

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