Follow Friday: Jon Sender (@Senderblock23)

Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)

Jon Sender (@senderblock23) is a benevolent, humorous individual who was kind enough to fill us in on the stories behind some of his funniest tweets.

 

“I’ve never sat in bed eating cereal. I’ve never eaten fruity pebbles. This joke was just an extension of my finding a small amount of humor in serial and cereal sounding identical. I didn’t think much of that tweet but then some famous person RTd it and it went viral. Do I appreciate that? Nope. Why? Because I’m garbage.”

 

“The bird tweet comes from a very real place. My grandparents have a piece of sh*t parrot. When I was little it flew onto my wrist and proceeded to bite and shred one of my fingers. Ever since then I have hated birds. I wrote this particular tweet when visiting my grandparents last December. I wouldn’t go near their dining room table if they didn’t put their stupid bird in its stupid cage. They gave me light hearted crap about it, so this tweet was my way of venting. Like, you know what? F*ck your bird, grandma.”

 

“I always receive emails from Barnes and Noble because I’m too lazy to take myself off of most mailing lists. I was sitting in a coffee shop using their wifi when I saw several B&N emails. I felt annoyed. I then imaged Barnes and Noble as a couple that would bicker and annoy each other. The relationship between these two guys then developed in my mind and this tweet was the end result.”

 

“The corndog tweet came to me while I was working kitchen duty for a community service job a few months back. We were having corndogs for lunch. My mind must have been in the gutter that day. The corndogs all looked like dongs on a stick. Then I just had to think of an inappropriate situation in which one would suggestively eat a corndog.”

 

“I really did always used to ask my mom for things. I was one of those kids who didn’t understand when enough was enough. Using proper manners was one of the tricks I learned that at least helped my chances at getting whatever bullshit toy or basketball shoes I wanted that week. Saying ‘the magic word’ helped more than it hurt. As for the end of that joke, my dad certainly never left us but he never put up with my crap. I could say ‘please’ 100 times and he would still stonewall me. The end of that joke just felt right.”

Jon might have a right to blame his parents for his troubles.

 

Or maybe not.

 

At least there are more dysfunctional families.

 

His childhood has given Sender some intimacy issues.

 

Jon is always too hungry to fully commit.

 

Not even to clothes.

 

He even manages to upset toothpaste.

 

Jon is no fun.

 

The occasional knife-off aside.

 

He has a few questions.

 

Like why Fox News uses flagrant false advertising.

 

Or why they report flat out lies.

 

Jon is a bit of an English snob.

 

Like all English majors, he could use some money.

 

Until that Capri Sun money comes pouring in through the world’s thinnest straw.

 

Sender’s degree in philosophy isn’t helping him much either.

 

He’s as lost as the most elusive man in literature.

 

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