Splitsider

Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
TV

Cataloging the Worst, Most Amoral Things the 'Always Sunny' Gang Has Ever Done

With Dennis, Mac, Charlie, Dee, and that Frank free to continue gallivanting around Philadelphia on the shiny brand new network FXX starting tonight, it's time to look back at the absolute worst things The Gang at It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia has ever done. While it's been fun and humorous to enjoy their antics over the years, sometimes you have to wonder if it was all worth it. (It probably was.)

Going Too Far With Revenge

In “The Gang Goes Jihad”, the gang TP and egg the Israeli businessman's property that had once been there own. Then they made a video wearing headscarves while speaking as terrorists. Finally they throw a flaming bag of dog poop into the man’s property, igniting an unknown gas leak. Before this happened, Charlie clandestinely sent Ari the terrorist video that everyone else had agreed was going too far. The group would end up getting community service, initially assigned to coach youth basketball teams.

Paralyzing or Killing the Daughter of an Enemy

In Hundred Dollar Baby", Frank offered to box Bobby to reclaim his honor, since Dee ran out of steroids and got arrested for assault and could not do it herself. He cheated by taking a swing before the bell and knocked Bobby out. Bobby collapsed on his daughter Brianna, who then cracked her neck on a bench, just like in a certain movie. Frank screamed “Holy shit!” and ran away.

Hosting Murder

In “Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass”, Dennis, Mac, and Frank made Paddy’s an "anything goes" establishment. The freedom eventually lead to people shooting up heroin in the bar and the McPoyles creeping everybody out. Worst of all, Frank and his Vietnamese gambler friends played an increasingly dangerous game of cards. After betting fingers, it devolved into russian roulette, with one man shooting himself in the face, presumably dying.

Kidnapping

In “The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby”, Mac and Dee try to market the baby they found in the dumpster as a Latino tv star.

Frank Shooting People

In “The Gang Gets Invincible”, Frank accidentally shot Doyle McPoyle in the leg.
In “The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell”, in a flashback to 1776 which probably did not happen, an ancestor of Frank accidentally blew an ancestor of Rickety Cricket’s head off with a gun he thought did not work.
In “Frank’s Brother”, Frank shot Reggie in the arm thinking the Black Panther was reaching for a gun.
And in “The Storm of the Century”, Frank shot Rickey Cricket in the hand, who he thought was looting the basement. How does this man still keep possession of that thing?

Running a Sweatshop

In “The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo”, Frank and Mac open a sweatshop to make Dennis’ dresses.

Dealing Drugs and Stealing Horses

In “The Gang Gets Whacked, Part 2”, Dee and Charlie get Rickety Cricket to sell cocaine for them, which initially he succeeds in doing. Charlie and Dee take the money to buy more cocaine instead of to pay the mob. Charlie stole a horse named Peter Nincompoop. He let it go free once Dee told him they couldn’t escape from the mob with him.

Stealing While Impersonating Police Officers

In “Bums: Making A Mess All Over the City”, Frank and Dennis acquired a discarded cop car, bought cop costumes, and drove around the city impersonating police officers. In uniform, the two took a jaywalker's cash and his watch. Dennis took all of the money out of a loiterer’s wallet. Eventually Charlie, acting as a Serpico, lit a Molotov cocktail Dennis made and threw it into the cop car, ending that adventure.

Attempted Cannibalism and Murder

In “Mac and Dennis: Manhunters”, after thinking that they ate human meat, Charlie and Dee go to a morgue to eat flesh, but at the last second chicken out. They lure a homeless kid home with them to potentially try to eat, but Charlie and Dee only get as far as rubbing spices on his arm before the kid is able to run away. Meanwhile, Dennis and Mac hunt Rickety Cricket for sport.

Faking Death

In “Mac and Charlie Die, Part 1”, Mac and Charlie fake their own deaths to avoid Mac’s father.

Illicit Waste Management

In “Who Pooped the Bed?”, Frank repeatedly shit on his and Charlie’s bed, and twice on the Paddy’s bar floor.

Kidnapping and Assault

In “Paddy’s Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia”, Charlie kidnapped Philadelphia Inquirer critic Lyle Korman, and his neighbor, because he wrote a bad review of the bar.

Breaking and Entering, Destruction of Property

In “The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition”, The Gang break into a house at night, all dressed in black, blaring loud music and yelling through bullhorns at a family to get out of their beds so they can redesign the house, like their heroes at Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Justifiably terrified, the family does not understand Dee’s imperfect Spanish explaining why exactly they are destroying their possessions, removing walls, and decorating their surroundings with American paraphernalia.

Douchebagery and Threats on One's Life

In “The D.E.N.N.I.S. system.”, Dennis’ system for getting with women (Demonstrate Value/Engage Physically/Nurture Dependence/Neglect Emotionally/Inspire Hope/ Separate Entirely includes prank calling as an angry neighbor and threatening the woman’s life, and general awfulness.

Poisoning

In “The Gang Reignites the Rivalry”, it is revealed that in 1998 that The Gang received a 10 year ban from the bar flip cup competition “Flipadelphia” for poisoning another team. They vandalize the home of the owner of the new bar and restaurant that replaced their former rival’s bar and set his yard on fire. In a frat house flip cup game, Dennis, Charlie, and Mac poison Dee and their frat brother opponents. They then forget entirely about “Flipadelphia”.

Rioting

In “Storm of the Century”, fresh off of shooting Rickety, Frank started a riot after a supermarket’s credit card machines stop working. Seriously, how is this man still able to walk freely on the street?

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  • K.F.

    In "The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation", they almost let a drunk Korean teenager participate in a wet t-shirt contest.

  • Matthew Kopache

    Holding a dead man's funeral in their bar to get close to his daughter in 'The Gang Finds A Dead Guy' Dennis and Dee taking Crack to go on welfare, In 'Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire' Frank Sets Sweet Dee on fire. In 'The Gang Cracks The Liberty Bell' Dennis and Mac side with the British and Most importantly cruel the whole episode 'A Very Sunny Christmas.'

  • tuco

    Wow…learn the difference between "there" and "their". such a turnoff to see in the first paragraph…didn't even read the rest. Get a proofreader, idiot.

    • TS Idiot

      Couldn't you just point out the mistake without being a jerk about it?

  • Emily

    What about every time it's implied that Dennis assaults and rapes women? Beyond the douchiness of the D.E.N.N.I.S. system he repeatedly preys on drunk women who are incapable of consent, he offered to frame the lawyer's wife by banging her while she slept, he wanted to use the boat to take women into international waters where they would be afraid to say no to sex because of the implications, etc… Dennis seems completely unable to understand the idea of consent. He also films every woman he sleeps with, without informing them.

    • Fred

      I'll tell you what, I can help you out. I'm gonna toss a "frame-bang" your way.

  • you suck

    Wish i could read this but all i see is you can't spell the difference between there and their. Why the fuck are you a writer if you make such junior mistakes in first paragraph. I don't read un-proofread garbage.

    • TS Idiot

      All I see in your post is a jerk who spells "I" as "i."

  • Fred

    "How does this man still keep possession of that thing?"

    Easy now. Don't let this turn into an Always Sunny-based gun rights argument. I can hear it now:
    "FRANK HAS A GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO CARRY THAT GUN AND SHOOT AS MANY PEOPLE AS LEGALLY ALLOWED."
    "FRANK IS A MENACE TO SOCIETY AND WILL EVENTUALLY LEAD A COUP AGAINST THE US GOV'T"
    "FRANK WAS JUST SELF DEFENDING BECAUSE HE THOUGHT REGGIE HAD A GUN"
    "FRANK'S ANCESTOR, THE RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNER, SHOOTS A MAN'S HEAD OFF."

    oh boy, I believe I've started it.