Follow Friday: @KarlHess
A lot of Twitter users take to the platform to test out their latest jokes and quips, but certain people truly excel at making us laugh with the available characters and constraints. With the Internet being such a big place, it can be difficult to find the comedians most worthy of your RTs and favs. Each Friday we feature one person whose consistent short-form online humor deserves your attention and to be on your Twitter feed.
This week, we’re recommending the Twitter feed of LA-based standup Karl Hess. Hess is featured on last year’s album Holy Fuck from Rooftop Comedy and was voted one of their best underground comics in 2011. He has appeared on truTV, Fuse and G4 and performed at many festivals, including SXSW and Montreal’s Just for Laughs. He’s also in Brooks Wheelan’s viral “year in the life” video–on mushrooms. Check out some of his funniest tweets below:
“Hi, I’m Vladimir Putin.” *steps over dead bear toward camera* “And I’d like to talk about shirts and how we can prevent them, together.”
— karl hess (@karlhess) March 8, 2014
“he died doing what he loved, leaning too far back in chairs.” — karl hess (@karlhess) October 24, 2012
Facebook has become like a terrible party: i don’t know 90% of the people there, there’s no booze, and i keep checking Twitter. — karl hess (@karlhess) September 26, 2011
Karl fell to the floor after eating 8 pieces of bundt cake, he gave me his phone and said “live tweet it.” i’m Karl’s mom, is this tweeter? — karl hess (@karlhess) December 25, 2011
In five years everything will either be a Chipotle or a picture of a cat. — karl hess (@karlhess) December 7, 2012
so sad that everyone who got slimed on Nickolodeon from ’93 to ’97 now has thyroid cancer. — karl hess (@karlhess) May 3, 2012
i truly believe that if we honestly support and encourage each other we can all post more pictures of ourselves. — karl hess (@karlhess) February 28, 2014
ideally, the best latte art holds a mirror up to society. — karl hess (@karlhess) February 19, 2014
An Open Letter to Open Letters: nope! — karl hess (@karlhess) January 30, 2014
“That’s it, no more excuses. I’m gonna start dusting more.” -Karl Hess Adult Thought number 33 — karl hess (@karlhess) December 11, 2013
It’s going to be super confusing, terminology-wise, when all those delivery drones go on strike.
— karl hess (@karlhess) December 6, 2013
If there’s indie rock playing in the bathroom, you’re gonna pay a lot for your eggs.
— karl hess (@karlhess) November 17, 2013
“I wanna know what love is.” -guy who doesn’t understand tennis — karl hess (@karlhess) November 14, 2013
“i don’t know, he said he was Batkid. so i fucked him.” -some girl in a SF bar 15 years from now — karl hess (@karlhess) November 16, 2013
Trying really hard to find a way to make Syria about me.
— karl hess (@karlhess) September 3, 2013
of course smoking is cool, it’s a fog machine for your face.
— karl hess (@karlhess) May 16, 2013
easter: an internet guide. friday: “brb” -jesus saturday: “lol”-romans sunday: “omg”-disciples — karl hess (@karlhess) March 30, 2013
i haven’t downloaded the emoji app for my phone but i do often respond to texts with “cat, cat, lightning bolt, taco, applause.”
— karl hess (@karlhess) February 11, 2013
the notepad next to my bed that i don’t remember writing on says “Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch,” just wanted to pass that along.
— karl hess (@karlhess) March 14, 2014
i like to think of the box my new iphone comes in as a coffin for my old iphone, bc i’m fun like that.
— karl hess (@karlhess) March 13, 2014