Stephen Colbert Debuts the Royalty-Free New National Birthday Anthem

The “Happy Birthday” song celebrated its own birthday this week, turning 90 years old. Stephen Colbert wanted to sing “Happy Birthday” to “Happy Birthday,” but due to the tight restrictions by Warner Bros. — which makes millions every year off “Happy Birthday” song royalties — Colbert was left with no choice but to create a new royalty-free national birthday anthem, which is a lot catchier and more patriotic than the old one.

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