Splitsider

Friday, April 11th, 2014

Rush Limbaugh Sure Is Unhappy That Stephen Colbert Got 'Late Show'


America's racist uncle, Rush Limbaugh, weighed in on the Colbert Late Show news on his show yesterday, and – surprise! – he is none too pleased that a guy who's spent the last few years dismantling everything Rush stands for is getting a bigger stage. Here's his reasoned and hyperbole-free take on it:

CBS has just declared war on the heartland of America. No longer is comedy going to be a covert assault on traditional American values, conservatism. Now it's just wide out in the open. What this hire means is a redefinition of what is funny, and a redefinition of what is comedy. They're blowing up the 11:30 format… they hired a partisan, so-called comedian, to run a comedy show.

A WAR ON THE HEARTLAND. You hear that, Kansas? Get your constitutionally-allowed guns ready, because evil northeastern elitist Stephen Colbert is coming to challenge your way of life. Not like that good ol' conservative David Letterman, who we all know did most of his jokes about how stupid the estate tax is.