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Friday, May 23rd, 2014

The 15 Harshest Quotes from Reviews of Adam Sandler's 'Blended'

The new Adam Sandler-Drew Barrymore movie Blended came out today, and it's been drawing some pretty savage reviews from critics. Currently sitting at 14% on Rotten Tomatoes, it's hardly the most-derided Adam Sandler movie ever (that honor would go to Jack and Jill with 3%) but it's still getting dogpiled on in a way that you don't see with your average studio comedy. We've rounded up some of the meanest quotes from reviews of the movie and gathered them up below, from least-harsh to harshest:

15. "The romance is sweet and even effervescent, the comedy is homespun and sentimental, but it’s packaged with such a repellent batch of stereotypes and prejudices that it’s unpalatable even to contemplate." – Richard Brody, The New Yorker

14. "Blended suffers from a fundamental lack of trust in its audience, following every unexpectedly smart exchange with a numbskull pratfall or one-liner, and every instance of genuine sincerity with an avalanche of schmaltz." – Andrew Barker, Variety

13. "The only promise that can be made about Frank Coraci’s Blended is that, eventually, the film does move its action to Africa, where at least there are interesting animals and beautiful scenery to enjoy. (At least, until a pair of rhinos start humping each other in plain view of a swanky hotel breakfast, if only because they just so happen to have the misfortune of being cast in an Adam Sandler film)." - Kate Erbland, Film.com

12. "In fact, the amount of time the movie spends actually setting up what should be a fairly simple premise could very well be its undoing since it is that time when Sandler really tests the audience's limits. He won't be winning a GLAAD award anytime soon with his inappropriate jokes about lesbians, but he also takes low blows at the mentally challenged and that's even before the story shifts to Africa and starts playing with African stereotypes." - Edward Douglas, Coming Soon

11. "Every expectation of a gross-out surprise between a pair of lovers is immediately fulfilled; the film shrinks from intimacy like a snail avoiding human touch." - Inkoo Kang, The Wrap

10. "Blended is a movie with training wheels, where everything is spelled out and the path to Lauren (Barrymore) and Jim (Sandler) moving from ‘I hate you’ to ‘I do’ is lit up like a landing strip in the desert." - Linda Barnard, Toronto Star

9. "Again, Blended isn’t terrible, but it’s lazy and every single one of these types of Sandler movies makes me more and more sad about what could have been." - Mike Ryan, Screen Crush

8. "A decent movie might actually be buried here somewhere deep, deep down. The world will never know." - Christy Lemire, RogerEbert.com

7. "I think I smiled, twice." - Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger

6. "If nothing else, you may want to go to Africa after seeing Blended, but only because getting far away from every single multiplex playing the film sounds like a good idea." - Kate Erbland, Film.com

5. "I find myself more bothered by the sheer audience-insulting incompetence of the filmmaking and the writing." - A.O. Scott, NY Times

4. "Sandler would piss out of the screen if he thought he could get a laugh. This is not his worst film, but it's his most offensive." – David Edelstein, Vulture

3. "Most of Blended has the look and pacing of a three-camera sitcom filmed by a bunch of eighth graders and conceived by their less bright classmates." - A.O. Scott, NY Times

2. "It's almost as if Sandler and his Happy Madison production company are baiting viewers, engaging them in a sadistic, decades-long thought experiment to see how many repellent films he can make before they turn on him." – Nathan Rabin, The Dissolve

1. "The laugh count is right up there with being diagnosed with late-stage cancer." – David Edwards, Daily Mirror