From “Half-Assed” to “Terrible,” Here’s What the Critics Are Saying About Woody Allen’s Amazon Show

crisis_six_scenesWoody Allen’s Amazon show Crisis in Six Scenes debuts today, and it turns out that Allen was right to call the series a “cosmic embarrassment” and “catastrophic mistake” and admit that he’s “regretted every second since I said OK” to Amazon, because the critics hate the show arguably more than he does. Reviews call Crisis “boring,” “clumsy,” “hollow,” and a “hefty disappointment,” so if you were planning to check out the show, you’re probably better off skipping it and doing something much more entertaining instead: reading all the terrible reviews! Here are just a few excerpts from what the critics are saying about Crisis in Six Scenes this week:

Variety: “But so much of the story relies on his charm. And it is hard to see the 80-year-old auteur as charming in the harsh light of the present. It would have been easier, probably, if there weren’t jokes about adopted daughters.”

Time: “The number of artists with meaningful things to say had gotten a fraction of the money Allen presumably had to work with. Instead, a name certain to get curious clicks was given free rein. And Allen, trading off that name, tossed off a poorly-paced, dated statement that the world is fine and would be finer if he could be left in peace. Perhaps, given the quality of the work, it’s time to let him live out that dream.”

Deadline: “When Crisis was formally announced, Allen said seemingly in jest that he thought Amazon brass might end up regretting giving him the dough and the opportunity. They should because he certainly took the money and ran here. To paraphrase a character in the series — Allen really missed a beat here.”

Entertainment Weekly: “Amazon’s Crisis in Six Scenes, which stars Allen alongside Elaine May and Miley Cyrus, feels like a two-hour movie cut into six chunks, but one noticeably devoid of any formal innovation or insight.”

Uproxx: “After slogging through all six episodes, I wonder: Does Amazon have any buyer’s remorse? To be blunt, Crisis in Six Scenes is terrible. The writing is terrible, the direction is terrible, the acting is terrible, it looks terrible, and it will make you feel terrible. Unless you decide to bail after the first episode, at which point sweet relief might sweep over you.”

The Boston Globe: “The show is a waste of time, even by the lowered standards of Allen’s post-Husbands and Wives work.”

The Hollywood Reporter: “It’s unlikely he’d get much of whatever viewership materializes for Crisis in Six Scenes to come with him, since the first three half hours are a curiously plodding and frankly half-assed effort, the fourth episode has a minor spark of momentum and the last two episodes — by far the best — are sadly too little, too late.”

Indiewire: “Crisis in Six Scenes wouldn’t have worked in any era — not when we treated TV as the goofy kid brother to film, and especially not now when TV is challenging cinema on every level. We needed the best of Woody Allen; instead, we got an artistic crisis.”

The New York Times: “We’re in the midst of a revolution in American television comedy, and one important source for the dark humor and cinematic style of shows like Louie and Transparent is undoubtedly the films of Woody Allen. It’s especially disappointing, then, that Crisis in Six Scenes, Mr. Allen’s first TV show, feels instantly forgettable.”

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