@Alex3nglish on Ex-Boyfriends and Nervous Laughter
Alex English is a New York City based standup comedian, writer and actor by way of Detroit, MI. He has opened for such acts as Sasheer Zamata and James Adomian. He will be making his first appearance on season two of Seeso’s Night Train w/ Wyatt Cenac. This week he spoke to me about his three favorite tweets, plus basketball, Gayle King, and the nervous laughter that only the news can inspire.
I'm bad at breaking up with people. I faked my own death with one guy & called him a week later asking for my shoes back
— alex english (@alex3nglish) April 21, 2015
English: I’ve been in three relationships and to this day, I have yet to master the art of breaking up with someone. I should either quit getting in relationships, or start dating guys who wear different size Jordans than I do.
What are your fave subjects to tweet about?
I tweet often about ex-boyfriends. One of them knows it, two of them don’t – and the other can’t read. And that’s why I tweet about them! My dating experience has been so unique. If I created a police lineup of the guys that have been in and out of my life, one could easily say, “Wow at least two of these guys have already been to jail.”
I’m a diehard NBA fan too. So I’ll throw a couple silly jabs at LeBron here and there (he’s a beast, but Dan Gilbert sucks), while foolishly defending my struggling Detroit Pistons.
Is there stuff that you consider off-limits for Twitter, either with regards to just your tweets or in general?
I think anything can be turned into a joke. The question is, will the joke be FUNNY?
if you think trump isnt capabale of sexual assault, just look at how much he says "its going to happen" even though mexico keeps saying "no"
— alex english (@alex3nglish) January 26, 2017
Trump is a 100% ridiculous human being, and the only “plus” to his newfound presidency is how easy it is to pinpoint his many aberrations in situations that you otherwise assumed were not even related.
Has anything in particular been helpful in keeping your sense of humor these days?
The news! I’ve never been so plugged into what’s happening in Washington, D.C. currently. A hoard of white people are showing their asses in front of the world! It’s scary, but it’s like, “Hey how can you NOT laugh at this?” I get why many aren’t laughing, but if you take a couple deep breaths and really read/watch what’s happening, the laughter will come. It might be nervous laughter, but laughter nonetheless?
What are your favorite and least favorite things about Twitter?
My favorite thing about Twitter is George Wallace’s timeline. He’s the one of the greatest comedians we’ll ever see. My “Least Favorite” thing about twitter is that they don’t have an “EDIT’ option for your tweets! I am prone to a typo or two.
please stop saying black families aren't represented on television nicely, when tide commercials have been on for decades
— alex english (@alex3nglish) December 19, 2016
The only platform aside from The Cosby Show that will ever depict healthy black familial relationships on television are Tide commercials. Regardless if she’s a single mother or her husband appears, we can always count on Rhonda to get the grass stains out of little Devonte’s all-white briefs with a smile.
How similar is your voice online to your voice IRL?
My hope is that when people are reading my tweets, they’re reading them in the voice of Gayle King. Have you ever heard her voice? It’s so soothing. Like the feeling of your favorite shea-moisture shampoo as it touches your scalp. In all honesty, I’d like to think my voice online matches my real life/onstage voice. I’m mostly writing jokes that I can potentially expand on and take to the stage, but then I have to keep in mind that tone gets lost almost ALWAYS online. I try.
What is one piece of advice you’d give to someone looking to have fun on the Internet?
My advice to anyone looking to have fun on the Internet, would be to get off of the Internet. Go out and enjoy real life! When you make real life experiences with real people, that’ll make your tweets better — and less frequent. Seriously, people with 500,000+ tweets scare the life out of me.
And if that isn’t something you’re interested in, then my best advice is to FOLLOW ME!
Photo by Jenni Walkowiak.
Jenny Nelson lives, writes, and performs in Brooklyn.