Ranking Every Episode of ‘Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee’
50. S9 E1 | Kristen Wiig: The Volvo-ness (1/5/2017)
Seinfeld is ready for a hipster day with Wiig, which apparently includes rolled-up jeans, bookstores, and House of Pies. The Saturday Night Live alum dives into how her persona made her uniquely apt for her improv and SNL. Wiig is such a sunny presence and so funny when on stage, but this episode was a little sleepy. She did talk about how she is more comfortable in character than she is talking to people, so maybe that can account for it. If you are a fan of Wiig and familiar with her work, then it’s almost like watching two completely different people.
Best Line: “I love two people getting heated up and jumping into bed because of an old Volvo.” – Seinfeld
49. S4 E2 | George Wallace: Two Polish Airline Pilots (6/26/2014)
Wallace and Seinfeld do Vegas. Most importantly, in this episode we learn that Vegas actually has coffee! But before Seinfeld and Wallace get their caffeine intake, they take the stage at the Flamingo. This is the first episode where Seinfeld does a little standup, which is a nice treat. This episode is really about how far back Seinfeld and Wallace go, what it was like to be on the road, and how their relationship has been over the past two decades. You’ll learn a lot.
Best Line: “How did they come up with the word ‘suppository’? And I thought, maybe the guy was looking at it and went, ‘Suppose I…’” – Seinfeld
48. S6 E4 | Bill Maher: The Comedy Team of Smug and Arrogant (6/24/2015)
Fitting title. This episode dripped with both smugness and arrogance. It’s a lot of Maher talking about himself and about physically picking up a woman who was trying to “Paris Hilton her way” through the line to the bathroom. It’s no secret that Seinfeld and Maher are both a bit smug, but if you thought it was just an act before wait till you see this episode.
Best Line: “I thought goats just walk around. Didn’t know they were making butter.” – Seinfeld
47. S9 E2 | Norm Macdonald: A Rusty Car in the Rain (1/12/2017)
Sometimes the classic cars are too compact and squish Seinfeld and his guest in like sardines. It makes me very uncomfortable to watch tall guys squeeze into tiny cars like trying to put on skinny jeans in 95-degree whether. Other than that distraction, Macdonald tells a lot of old stories about coming up and Seinfeld mostly listens. If Norm Macdonald story hour is on your wish list then this episode is for you!
Best Line: “A rusty car in the rain sounds like one of those sex things: ‘How much for a rusty car in the rain?’” – Macdonald
46. S1 E5 | Joel Hodgson: A Taste of Hell From on High (8/23/2012)
Hodgson and Seinfeld reveal every man’s desire in the ‘80s was to be Mad Men in the ‘60s. To fulfill their yearning the two play ketchup execs over some lunch. It’s a conversation about nothing, and what more could you want from a Seinfeld show?
Best Line: “How many fights did they have over this [ketchup bottle] before someone said, ‘But the ketchup goes to the bottom. Put the cap on the bottom.’” – Hodgson
45. S3 E3 | Jay Leno: Comedy Is a Concealed Weapon (1/16/2014)
Leno influenced a lot of comedians and it’s no surprise that Seinfeld is in that pool. While it’s entertaining to hear Leno and Seinfeld talk shop, Leno is so “on” that it feels a little disingenuous. The show usually feels very intimate and raw, and this episode just felt too showy. However, part of the show is Leno pretending he’s never had coffee before, which is a great long-lasting bit.
Best Line: “What is a Jay Leno?” – Leno
44. S2 E5 | Seth Meyers: Really?! (7/11/2013)
Amidst quips of rescue dogs and Martha Stewart, Meyers gives the insider details about his transition from SNL to Late Night with Seth Meyers. It’s always entertaining to hear about how the talent of SNL came up and that moment their careers were made.
Meyers: “How many cars do you have?”
Seinfeld: “An amount that if you looked at it you would not go, ‘Well that makes sense.’”
43. S8 E2 | Margaret Cho: You Can Go Cho Again (6/23/2016)
This episode is jam-packed. Seinfeld and Cho hit a Mexican restaurant, a music shop, a butcher, coffee again, and then Seinfeld ends up opening for Cho at The Stress Factory two weeks later. That’s a first. Cho chokes up about how Seinfeld influenced her career and then opens up to him about being a survivor of sexual abuse and how it feels to do comedy about it. This episode is really a lesson in gallows humor at its peak and censorship and comedy.
Best Line: “Intersectional? Sounds like a couch that can turn into a dining room table.” – Seinfeld
42. S1 E3 | Brian Regan: A Monkey and a Lava Lamp (8/9/2012)
Brian Regan and Seinfeld go on a “first date.” Topic of conversation? What’s the highest echelon in which someone had to tell a guest, “You’ll have to jiggle the handle”? This episode is just pure silliness.
Best Line: “Has a baron ever said to an earl, ‘You’ll need to jiggle the handle?’” – Regan
41. S9 E3 | Cedric the Entertainer: Dictators, Comics and Preachers (1/19/2017)
Cedric the Entertainer talks about falling into comedy accidentally while working at State Farm and what comedians do after shows. This episode perfectly illustrates Seinfeld’s desire for an “un-talk show.” Instead of pre-rehearsed anecdotes they spend half the time talking about Muhammad Ali, who passed away the week of filming.
Best Line: “Dictators, comics and preachers, this is all the same shtick.” – Seinfeld