Ranking Every Episode of ‘Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee’
30. S5 E1 | Kevin Hart: You Look Amazing in the Wind (11/6/2014)
Seinfeld and Hart beat the heat with sub-par iced coffee in an AC-less café and dissect Hart’s distinct standup style. Seinfeld offers up some critiques, too. He can’t help it. This is near the top solely for the matching sneakers. Kevin Hart is pretty good too.
Best Line: “You use my name like you’re trying to sell me something.” – Seinfeld
29. S9 E5 | Christoph Waltz: Champagne, Cigars and Pancake Batter (2/2/2017)
Seinfeld takes Waltz to an IHOP, because where better to take a guy like Waltz? It’s utterly hilarious to see Waltz sitting in an IHOP booth, but also extremely uncomfortable. Waltz just sits there looking very afraid of pancakes. He trades up for a crepe, which doesn’t fare any better. From there Seinfeld convinces Waltz to try the waffle on for size, and well after all three Waltz has one thing left to say: “I’m about to ask you what I ever did to you?” It’s another one of those not-technically-a-comedian episodes, but we can let that go for Waltz because all his mannerisms and cadence turn everything he says into a punchline.
Best Line: “This IHOP, I never knew what it is. I actually always thought it was cheap shoes.” – Waltz
28. S9 E4 | Lewis Black: At What Point Am I Out From Under? (1/26/2017)
The “Lewis Black Persona” makes this episode mostly about political correctness and the how the people offended by comedy have changed from the conservatives during Lenny Bruce’s time to the liberals of our time. It’s an interesting conversation to overhear from two older comedians. However, that all loses out to Black’s road rage, which is better television than anyone could ever hope to come up with. Someone needs to make Lewis Black in Cars in New York Yelling at Shit Drivers. That’s a formal request.
Best Line: Black’s eating montage.
27. S5 E2 | Amy Schumer: I’m Wondering What It’s Like to Date Me (11/13/2014)
The theme of this episode is car trouble. Watching Seinfeld dealing with a smoking Ferrari is very entertaining. Other than that, it’s always interesting how younger comedians hold their own opposite legends. Schumer asks, “Is it worthless to compliment you?” And it turns out to be an interesting tag for the episode because it’s a lot of Seinfeld complimenting Schumer on her accomplishments.
Best Line: “I’m going to hold onto my seatbelt like rosary beads.” – Schumer
26. S2 E1 | Sarah Silverman: I Am Going to Change Your Life Forever (6/13/2013)
Silverman is probably the most natural guest of the run. She admits her favorite thing in the world is just going out for lunch with comics, and this is exactly what it feels like: two friends grabbing some food. You want to know when a friend is on the show? When the guest is talking about depression and Seinfeld interrupts to ask for half-and-half. It sums up not just this episode, but the series perfectly.
Best Line: “You know what I think we are going to be suffering from here? Hipster service.” – Seinfeld
25. S1 E8 Special: Colin Quinn and Mario Joyner: I Hear Downton Abbey Is Pretty Good (9/13/2012)
This is a really special episode because it feels like hanging out next to the comics’ table above The Comedy Cellar in New York City. Quinn, Seinfeld, and Joyner break bread in hipster Brooklyn while Joyner regales them with a public transportation tale. It’s like there’s no show going on, just friends catching up.
Seinfeld: “Tell me, aside from [kids], what isn’t just brain-numbingly repetitive?”
Quinn: “I hear Downton Abbey is pretty good.”
24. S6 E3 | Jim Carrey: We Love Breathing What You’re Burning Baby (6/17/2015)
First off, Carrey climbs over his own fence and comes out on the other side covered in paint for some reason that goes unexplained. Carrey is the antithesis of Seinfeld and it’s so interesting to see those two interact, like watching Jane Goodall in the wild. Carrey manages to sit still long enough to talk a little about how he started out as an impressionist and then moved onto what he refers to as “performance art.” It’s a weird trippy time. Just watch.
Best Line: “There is no pulp, no matter how much pulp they tell you there is. Pulp is an illusion.” – Carrey
23. S7 E6 | Will Ferrell: Mr. Ferrell, for the Last Time, We Are Going to Ask You to Put the Cigar Out (2/3/2016)
This episode is like a scientific experiment separating Ferrell from his characterizations and it’s so interesting, especially because it turns out he’s just as funny and a regular human eating a sandwich. We finally learn the origin story of Ferrell’s cat bit from his SNL audition.
Best Line: “Is there anything more futile than telling a cat what you don’t want it to do?” – Seinfeld
22. S6 E2 | Steve Harvey: Always Do the Banana Joke First (6/10/2015)
Harvey is just one of those comedians who doesn’t know how to not entertain. As Seinfeld points out, every part of his body is always working, which is very fitting of an episode that revolves mostly around appealing to your audience. “The audience is all the police we need,” says Seinfeld. Which really carries the episode into a discussion of whether or not comedians ever really “cross the line” and just how much they are responsible for.
Best Line: “Tragedy strikes. I’ve got news for you. We have the jokes that night!” – Harvey
21. S7 E5 | Sebastian Maniscalco: I Don’t Think That’s Bestiality (1/27/2016)
It’s so easy to watch and be entertained by Maniscalco. He’s like a warm cup of tea that’s been spiked with Jack Daniels: inviting, calm, relaxing, and then bam, the punch. Maniscalco entertains Seinfeld with a story about an exterminator and it’s probably the best minute of the whole series.
Best Line: “If [exterminators] could really exterminate we wouldn’t have these things. They’re rat realtors… they’re just going to take these rats and show them some other properties.” – Seinfeld