Ranking Every Episode of ‘Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee’
20. S2 E3 | Gad Elmaleh: No Lipsticks for Nuns (6/27/2013)
Seinfeld wants to have a “French day” with the “Jerry Seinfeld of France.” “Seinfeld of France” is debatable; Elmaleh seems a lot more approachable. Maybe the Seinfeld of France with actual human emotions and feelings. Either way, Elmaleh is a hilarious guy in his own right. If there was a show called Comedians in Cars Eating Bread, well, send that to Netflix too!
Best Line: “No mirrors because nuns don’t need mirrors. No lipsticks for nuns.” – Elmaleh
19. S1 E1 | Larry David: Larry Eats a Pancake (7/19/2012)
Who better to kick off Seinfeld’s foray into this newfound fondness for coffee klatchdom than his counterpart Larry David? With Seinfeldian humor pulsing through them, the two men who made a show about nothing bring the tradition back to life. It’s a pilot about nothing that sets the course for everything to come and also answers the age-old question, “Do you think Jerry Seinfeld wears boxers or briefs?”
Best Line: “You’ve finally made a show about nothing.” – David
18. S4 E4 | Aziz Ansari: It’s Like Pushing a Building off a Cliff (7/10/2014)
Ansari and Seinfeld go on tour, in a tour bus, in a tour bus that Seinfeld is driving. Ansari looks extremely uncomfortable, and it’s unclear if it’s from having to make conversation with Seinfeld or the fact that his life might very well be in danger. What is the insurance policy on Seinfeld, do you think? Eventually the tension eases and the two comedians get into relationships, technology, family, and of course comedy.
Best Line: “Comedy has a vampire aspect to it — you don’t want to do it in the light.” – Seinfeld
17. S2 E4 | Don Rickles: You’ll Never Play the Copa (7/4/2013)
To see Rickles — who as Seinfeld puts it, “would be on the Mount Rushmore of comedy” — in this setting is a true delight. Rickles is still as sharp as a tack and not even Seinfeld can keep up. Rickles even takes a break to hit on the waitress. This is a chance for an insider’s look into Rickles’ coming up and we should just feel blessed to be a part of it.
Best Line: “You’re one of those voodoo Jews.” – Seinfeld
16. S7 E2 | Steve Martin: If You See This on a Toilet Seat, Don’t Sit Down (1/6/2016)
Martin hasn’t done standup in decades and it’s one of those mysteries that’s hard to wrap our head around: “Something so great it had to stop,” Martin offers Jerry. Which is really indicative of the type of humility and history of Martin — someone who possesses such success, appeal, and talent that few other could ever hope to match. If you are a fan of Martin, and who isn’t, this episode is truly something special.
Best Line: “When I was a kid, all I wanted to be was happy-go-lucky.” – Martin
15. S1 E10 | Michael Richards: It’s Bubbly Time, Jerry (9/27/2012)
Right off the bat, there’s a warning to the audience that certain events in the episode might seem set up but aren’t. So you can imagine what type of episode requires a warning like that. One with Kramer, possibly? This episode is one hilarious clip after another until a very sincere moment when Richards opens up about his onstage meltdown years back, and how he hasn’t gone on stage since. This episode has all the zany cookie hallmarks of classic Kramer with all the very genuine and sincere touches of a long long friendship between Richards and Seinfeld.
Seinfeld: “We’re just raindrops on a windshield, Michael.”
Richards: “I wanna know who’s wiping me off.”
14. S6 E5 | Trevor Noah: That’s Whole Point of Apartheid, Jerry (7/1/2015)
Noah gets really deep with Seinfeld about what it was like being biracial growing up in South Africa. It’s so humbling to see where Noah came from and where he is now. This episode hit all the comedic parts but also served up some really touching moments.
Best Line: “You have the humility of a colonizer.” – Noah
13. S6 E1 | Julia Louis-Dreyfus: I’ll Go If I Don’t Have to Talk (6/2/2015)
This one goes out to all the nostalgia fetishists out there. It starts off with Seinfeld telling a fellow driver on the road, “We’re doing the Seinfeld reunion, and you’re not in it.” Couldn’t help but shed a tear in commiseration. It’s Jerry and Elaine taking a walk down memory lane and it should go on forever.
Best Line: “Thank you for training him to become a human being.” – Louis-Dreyfus [to Seinfeld’s wife…over the phone]
12. S5 E3 | Bill Burr: Smoking Past the Band (11/20/2014)
Burr, one of the funniest comedians around, talks about his professional plan to cameo on other people’s shows and not worry about his own. Which sounds exactly like a life philosophy Burr would have. He is exactly as Burr as he can be and probably the most comfortable of all the guests. Burr just wants to be on stage doing bits — no pretension about it and it shows.
Best Line: “I don’t wanna sit in a fucking trailer waiting fourteen hours to pretend to be a cop.” – Burr
11. S3 E5 | Tina Fey: Feces Are My Purview (1/30/2014)
Fey and Seinfeld trying to figure out what a drink called “wheat puffs” is turns out to be thrilling. This is pre-Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and Fey’s job prospects were a little more ambitious: “I always say you should have to have a license to be on Twitter,” she says. “When 30 Rock ended they were like, ‘What do you want to do?’ I was like, ‘I wanna be in charge of the Twitter licenses.’” We need you Fey, now more than ever!
Best Line: “Feces are my purview.” – Fey