Ranking Every Episode of ‘Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee’

10. S1 E9 Special: Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks: I Want Sandwiches, I Want Chicken (9/20/2013)
ReinerBrooks

Reiner and Brooks have been getting together every night since 1950 for dinner and a movie. This night, Seinfeld crashes the party. It’s awe-inspiring to see two legends sitting in front of TV dinner tables eating deli sandwiches. It could almost feel a little sad, but their banter and humor is as strong as ever, which injects the joy back into it.  

Best Line: “We like a movie if someone says, ‘Secure the perimeter.’” – Reiner

9. S3 E1 | Louis C.K.: Comedy, Sex and the Blue Numbers (1/2/2014)

CK

Seinfeld and C.K. drive the dumbest little wicker-seat Fiat to set sail aboard C.K.’s yacht. C.K. makes Seinfeld a cup of brew and tells him how he lives when his kids aren’t around. It’s odd to see a guy who owns a yacht talk about how his favorite thing in the world is to getting high and going to 3D IMAX movies alone.

Best Line: “I can’t afford this boat. I shouldn’t have gotten it. You shouldn’t buy a yacht unless you can afford to buy ten yachts.” – C.K.

8. S5 E5 | Fred Armisen: I Wasn’t Told About This (12/4/2014)

Armisen

This episode should have been titled “Things to Put on Your Bucket List: Waiting for Coffee with Fred Armisen.” Armisen is reliably brilliant but watching Seinfeld in Portland is like a chimp in a hosiery shop — it makes zero sense but the chimp is just happy to be there. This episode is really what every other episode should be like; from the car to the hipster service meter, it’s all perfectly crafted with zero pretension, and most of that is because of the unique brand of comedy that Armisen is.  

Best Line: “[Bats] look like hamsters that got an idea.” – Seinfeld

7. S6 E6 | Stephen Colbert: Cut Up and Bloody But Looking Good (7/8/2015)

seinfeld_colbert

This episode covers the pursuit of happiness as explained by Seinfeld and Colbert. Nothing could bring more happiness than this episode and its front-row seat at Colbert being the character that is Stephen Colbert. Everything that comes out of Colbert’s mouth is hilarious and this episode is just so damn enjoyable.

Best Line: “I think the lulls are nice.” – Colbert

6. S7 E1 | President Obama: Just Tell Him You’re the President (12/30/2015)

obama_seinfeld

Mic drop! Is that enough? Obama turns out to be one of the best comedic sparring partners for Seinfeld in an episode that our former President admits just might be his most embarrassing presidential moment. “I do very well with the 0-8 demographic. They love me,” says Obama. Well, after watching this episode, we reminisce on the old America and love you even more.   

Best Line: “You have to use the non-presidential garbage.” – Obama

5. S3 E6 | George Constanza: The Over-Cheer (2/2/2014)

Costanza

Jason Alexander is gone and George Costanza is in full swing. So of course to Monk’s they go, I mean Tom’s? This isn’t Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, it’s a look at what would have happened if Seinfeld never ended. Complete fodder for the fans.

Best Line: “You know I like the curly chip. You didn’t put it out. I noticed that right away.” – Costanza  

4. S4 E5 | Jon Stewart: The Sound of Virginity (7/17/2014)

Stewart

Seinfeld shows up with a Gremlin, which according to Stewart was “used for many years in New Jersey as contraception,” and also Stewart’s first car. This episode is at the top of the list not just because of how hilarious Stewart and Seinfeld are together but because it’s always easy to tell when the guest is an actual friend and not just someone who agreed to do the show. Also a foretelling to the end of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Best Line:  

Stewart: [on why Seinfeld wants to be buried] “Why would you think about it?”

Seinfeld: “Just for fun.”

3. S9 E6 | Bob Einstein: It’s Not So Funny When It’s Your Mother (2/9/2017)

Einstein2nd

Huzzah! Einstein becomes the first guest to return for a second episode, and deservedly so! Seinfeld and Einstein did a commercial for the Acura NSX, and in honor of its release Seinfeld brings Einstein back on the show with the car that he may or may not gift to Einstein at the end—depending on how well it goes of course. Einstein is always just brilliantly hilarious, but he get a little more serious in this episode when he gets into how he started standup after his father, also a brilliant comedian, passed away during the 1958 Friars roast of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez.  It’s another perfect episode from Einstein, but you’ll have to watch to find out if he gets the car.

Best Line: “I just got through telling this story that almost makes me cry, and you turn to asswipe and say, ‘Are we good?’” – Einstein

But also, every damn line.

2. S1 E4 | Alec Baldwin: Just a Lazy Shiftless Bastard (8/16/2012)

Baldwin

This one is so near the top of the list because Baldwin steals the show and makes an appearance as Jack Nicholson. More than that, this is the most sincere episode of the run. Underneath all the lines is a real look at the potential Baldwin has never been able to reach, and just how far Seinfeld has. And okay, there is also a little bias on my part from his Beetlejuice days.  

Best Line: “Your life has been one unbroken boulevard of green lights, hasn’t it?” – Baldwin

1. S7 E4 | It’s Great That Garry Shandling Is Still Alive (1/20/2016)

Shandling

This episode aired just a couple of months before Shandling passed away, and it’s just so sad to watch now, especially with that title. Like it jinxed it. Seinfeld and Shandling go on a walk down memory lane and spend a good chunk of time reminiscing in the famous Comedy Store. Shandling is so effervescent and full of life, just a treasure that went too soon. Keep the tissues close with this one.  

Best Line: Shandling and Seinfeld’s Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercial.

 

Daniella Bondar is a writer and NYC dweller. Find her words at daniellarobin.com and follow her awkward exchanges on Twitter @daniellarobin

 

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