David S. Pumpkins: the Paul Blart of Halloween

david-s-pumpkinsLast Saturday was SNL’s David S. Pumpkins Halloween Specialin which a 5-minute sketch was stretched out over 22 poorly-animated, weirdly heartwarming minutes. Special writer Mikey Day tweeted that this would harken to Halloween specials of yore, such as It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.

The David S. Pumpkins Halloween Special was met with …many questions. Namely, why do this? Why extend a premise (a premise that is specifically that THERE IS NO PREMISE) over such a long span of time?

Every Thanksgiving, the minds behind The Worst Idea of All Time and My Brother, My Brother and Me come together to watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 and record a podcast about it. It’s called Til Death Do Us Blart.

(I know I’m supposed to talk about the David S. Pumpkins Halloween Special, which is an entirely different holiday than Thanksgiving.) 

They have promised to do this until the heat death of the universe. When a member of their cohort dies, another will take their place and watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 until the heat death of the universe.

(Trust me, I’m going somewhere with this.)

In the first episode of Til Death Do Us Blart, Travis McElroy goes through the 11 moments in PB2 that genuinely made him laugh out loud. Despite himself, Travis laughed, unbidden, 11 times watching a movie that hinges on a deadly oatmeal allergy. Because joy suffuses all things, if you’re willing to look. With that in mind, here are the eight times I laughed out loud during the David S. Pumpkins Halloween Special, the three times I chuckled internally, and the one time I gained a deeper understanding of the world around me.

LOL’D

  • when the protagonist teen couldn’t talk to his crush, laying down sick game such as shouting “That’s a house!” when he pointed at a house
  • when it turned out that David S. Pumpkins’ car was a giant strawberry
  • when David S. Pumpkins yelled “Your house smells weird!”
  • when David S. Pumpkins magicked a costume on the teen protagonist that was a generic businessman named “Carl Branley.” I laughed at his “Carl Branley” nametag
  • when David S. Pumpkins gave two thumbs up to the protagonist’s crush after pantsing the teen protagonist
  • when the very large pumpkin fell down and broke
  • when the now-adult protagonist broke his “Twas the Night Before Christmas” narration meter at the very end

CHUCKLED

  • the third time David S. Pumpkins didn’t sing
  • when the raisins exploded on the moon
  • at the symphonic arrangement of David S. Pumpkins theme

REALLY THOUGHT

  • when the teen protagonist said Halloween is really about believing in yourself

The David S. Pumpkins Halloween Special outright states that it wants to make David Pumpkins the Santa of Halloween. I don’t think that’s going to happen. However, he could be the spirit of costumes you have to explain. There’s something in the audacity of this special that matches perfectly the audacity of dressing up like Sexy Hemingway and thinking anyone will get it. I did this one, incidentally. People understood the Hemingway part of the costume but were confused by the fishnets and miniskirt. All I could say? “It’s part of it.”

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