@BizzyCoy & Funny Twitter Polls

bizzy-coyBizzy Coy is a humor writer and copywriter who ditched the mean streets of NYC for the mean bears of the Catskills. She lives and writes in her cottage in the woods, with humor pieces appearing in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, Splitsider, The Belladonna, The Establishment, and The Higgs Weldon. Check bizzycoy.com for upcoming readings and events.

This week, Coy share some of her Twitter polls with me!

I’m fascinated by Twitter quizzes and their results. This one in particular. I thought FOR SURE that “dine ‘n’ dash” was the funniest choice, because if you’re dead you can neither dine nor dash. But, as usual, my comedy instincts were dead wrong (pun fully intended). The majority of respondents correctly decided that “tiny house” was the best option—I can only assume because a coffin is the tiniest house of all. DUH! Why didn’t I realize that? Thanks, Twitter hive-mind.

What do you mainly use Twitter for?

I read more than I write on Twitter. I mainly follow comedians, fellow humor writers, theater people, and a wide range of people who are working to make the world a better place. It’s a nice mix and it helps me stay informed about what’s going on in the big bad world.

I am proven wrong yet again. I predicted “UTI” would win as the funniest Halloween idea, because a lot of my followers are women and it would be hilariously difficult to transform a painful medical malady into a costume. But “sexy podcast” pulled ahead. Shows what I know.

Who are some comedians you enjoy following online?

There are so many funnyfolx exploring the boundaries of comedy and it tickles me to see/hear/read what they’re up to. The bombastic star of stage and screen, Bridget Everett. The greatest drag queen duo in the galaxy, Trixie Mattel and Katya. Broti Gupta. Mitra Jouhari. Patti Harrison. Maris Kreizman, whose dog shares my name. Shakina Nayfack. Aparna Nancherla. Natasha Rothwell. I’m writing a secret screenplay and in my head it stars Fortune Feimster, Rhea Butcher and Cameron Esposito, although we have never met. So many people! I have to stop here!

This one was meant as a joke but turned into a transformative life moment. It’s a pretty lazy joke, the trope of being curled in a ball crying in the shower. But when most people voted for “back to the water,” I realized—wait a minute. All this time I thought most people showered FACING the water, because that’s what’s typically portrayed in TV and film. And because I shower facing AWAY from the water, I always assumed I was some freak of nature. This tweet made me realize I am not a terrible monster. I’m a human being.

You post a lot of joke quizzes — how do you think these function differently than a regular tweet in terms of joke writing?

I am not the best traditional joke writer. I tend to prefer things that aren’t quite jokes, or are absurd for absurdity’s sake. Quizzes are fun because there’s a clear setup but multiple possible punchlines, and each one has to work on its own and also as a group. Plus, it’s an interactive, DIY, choose-your-own-adventure situation for the person voting on the quiz.

What are your favorite and least favorite things about Twitter?

I hate that Twitter is an addictive substance that I check a thousand times a day in search of some dopamine bump I never quite get. That sounds dark. But I like that I’m addicted to Twitter instead of something stronger.


Karen Chee
 is a is a writer/performer who contributes regularly to The New Yorker and McSweeney’s.

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