Welcome to the Hayden Panettierium, by Kathryn Doyle

An Excerpt from ‘The Best American Emails,’ by Amanda Meadows

My Imaginary Boyfriend Josh, by Hana Michels

Thanks For Looking After My Five-Headed Bat-Like Creature While I’m Away On Vacation! by Alex Lee

The Keynote Address at the Association for Aspiring Plumbers, by Chris Morgan

On the Eve of a Grand Space Voyage, by Jeremy Freeze

Letter of Recommendation, by Barbara Holm

FAQs About the New Health Care Law’s “Tremendous Vampire Bats” Mandate, by Matt Baca

An Excerpt from ‘Away with Words,’ by Joe Berkowitz

The Complete Oral History of “The Star Spangled Banner” (Fictionalized Slightly for Entertainment Value), by Lucas Gardner

An Excerpt from ‘Man vs. Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting’ by Doug Moe

My Husband Tim, Who Is My Husband, by Jamie Loftus

I’m Sorry That My Self-Driving Car Didn’t Think the Ren Faire Was an Impenetrable Obstacle, by Sarah Hutto

I Stand Vigilant Before Master’s Sarcophagus and Yet Heroes Keep Breaking into His Tomb, by Matt Corluka

The Lunches My Child Has Been Served at School Can’t Possibly Be the Source of His Terrifying Powers, by Cody Ziler

The Movie Pitch for ‘Horse in Motion’ (1878), by Collin Gossel

That’s the Last Time I Plan an Art Heist on Facebook Events, by Bizzy Coy

An Excerpt from ‘The Official Handbook of the Bowieverse,’ by Alex Firer and Kenny Keil

They Can’t All Be Spider-Man: Your Handy Guide to B-Level Super-Powered Folk, by Kit Lively

Your Application To Cryobank NYC Has Been Denied, by Harris Mayersohn and Blythe Roberson