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Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Biking

by | May 13th, 2013

This week Tim discovers a fun new activity for Saturday nights if you're tired of going to the dog park week after week. Also the guys discuss biking! Well, mostly Tom discuses the arduous task of receiving a free bicycle helmet from the city of New York while Tim accuses him of taking advantage of the government. NYC's upcoming Citibike program is talked about in hazy detail and we solve a viewer problem concerning a young lady's Special Ops. boyfriend who wants to have fun being single.

Also don't forget to head over to audiblepodcast.com/everything to grab a 30 free trial of Audible and a free audiobook of your choosing! Seriously. Pick anyone you want. See if we care. It's yours.

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Fancy Restaurants

by | May 6th, 2013

This week we're talking fancy restaurants, but what conversation about fancy restaurants would be complete without first looking back at Prince's most erotic songs from early in his career? No conversation, that's what. After that we jump right into fancy restaurants starting with our favorite restauranteur, Gordon Ramsay. Not only is he the world's foremost authority on whether food is raw or not, he has a number of restaurants Tom has been to which Tim claims are not fancy despite never having been himself.

Tim and Tom also discuss the number of fancy and not quite fancy restaurants they spent money at at while in Europe out of fear that it would be robbed from them eventually anyway. This leads to a long argument about the merits of wine and whether a single person on earth can tell the difference between different bottles. The episode closes out with Tim's readings from a book on restaurant etiquette from the Emily Post Institute and a discussion of the new movie from Splitsider Presents called The Exquisite Corpse Project which you should totally buy.

Also don't forget to head over to audiblepodcast.com/everything to grab a 30 free trial of Audible and a free audiobook of your choosing! Seriously. Pick anyone you want. See if we care. It's yours.

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Summer Movies 2013 Part 2

by | April 29th, 2013

This week, we bring you the second part of our annual summer movie roundup and almost make it through the films coming out in June. We cover After Earth (which apparently is some Will Smith movie that is coming out), The Purge, The Internship, Man of Steel and talk about the difference between Robert Downey Jr. and Morton Downey Jr.

Also, we talk about what makes for a good anecdote in Jeopardy's contestant interview segment, the bizarre pervasiveness of burlesque acts in Brooklyn and we solve a listener's problem about choosing a best man for his wedding. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Summer Movies 2013

by | April 22nd, 2013

Even though it's Spring, it's still time for this Summer's blockbuster movies to premiere and Tim and Tom are here with their preview. This week they look at Oblivion, Iron Man 3, Hangover Part 3, Fast and Furious 6, The Great Gatsby and Star Trek Into Darkness which doesn't even get them out of the month of May. The merits of 3D and 4D movies are also argued as well as an agreement that all movies should be much, much shorter.

Also Tim's feeling great this week after a visit to his doctor reveals a health concern which is delivered to him in the middle of the night.

This week's episode concludes with a return of the popular 'Particular Type of Asshole You Didn't Know Existed Until The New York Times Pointed Them Out To You' segment where the new trend of toilet training infants is covered in full. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: The Complete Guide to The Complete Guide to Everything

by | April 15th, 2013

It's our 200th episode, so Tim and Tom decide to celebrate by getting very self indulgent! This week we turn the focus of the show onto the show itself and tell a couple of very long, semi-interesting stories about how the show started and how a presumed stalker almost ruined it all. We also play a rare clip from our previous podcast that you've never heard!

In a very special Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems, we help a gentleman propose to his girlfriend and try not to screw everything up. And to top it off, Tom tells a story of a less than exciting encounter with a television prank show.

This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Wrestling

by | April 8th, 2013

This week's episode begins with the disappointment that Tim and Tom were unable to attend this year's Wrestlemania and the full intention of doing the episode about a different subject entirely before the power of Wrestlemania flat-out demands that they instead indeed talk almost exclusively about wrestling. Of course this means talking about the recent Hulk Hogan Uncensored at the Beacon Theatre that neither attended, a nearly screenplay accurate recounting of the Wrestling Buddies commercial and Tim's close encounter with a Murphy bed.

Also discussed in depth this week: Tom's legacy as a two-term class president in high school and his attempts at recreating a wrestling fundraiser he and Tim both attended as young children where Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka screamed at him.

This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide To Everything: Easter

by | April 1st, 2013

This week, despite our stated policy of not discussing anything even vaguely religious, we talk about Easter, which apparently is a very important Christian holiday. Mostly we just talk about candy, including Tom's dangerous addiction to Cadbury Eggs. We also talk about a large scale, highly competitive Easter egg hunt from Tom's childhood, coordinated by a local creepy elderly couple.

Most importantly, we discuss the very serious issues of getting lollipops at the bank, drinking beer with alcoholic ATMs and Tim announces his plans to take all his money out of the bank and keep it handcuffed to him at all times.

This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Urban Legends: Disney Theme Parks

by | March 25th, 2013

This week Tim and Tom deliver a pre-taped episode recorded before their European tour which of course leads with an extensive conversation about the possibility of the episode being automatically released after their inevitable plane crash. Tim also has a lot of questions about the frail old man serving as Tom's personal butler for all of these years.

Some of the many, many urban legends around Disney Theme Park that are addressed this week include the infamous Club 33, the parks' rules around long-hairs, whether or not anyone at the park has ever been pronounced dead on the premises, and some unusual requests in Walt Disney's will surrounding the first man to become pregnant and presumably isn't Arnold Schwarzenegger. Finally the guys solve a listener problem concerning a large VHS purchase recently made at a flea market, of course.

This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Subway Etiquette

by | March 18th, 2013

This week, seasoned subway riders Tim and Tom discuss the most appropriate behavior when traveling on the NYC subway system. Answering questions like "When is it appropriate to shame someone on the internet for sitting in a seat designated for the handicapped?" (which sends Tim into a rage), "When is it appropriate to bring furniture onto the subway?" and "Should I bring a large uncovered pot of soup onto the train?" we leave no stone unturned.

Also, Tom talks about a man playing Misfits covers at 8 a.m., and we imagine what it would be like if everyone in America started eating frogs legs. Also, we solve a problem from a listener who has a friend that constantly talks about annoying stuff.

This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Supermarket Shopping

by | March 11th, 2013

This week we take on the thrilling subject of purchasing your food at the supermarket, a process that often confounds Tim and Tom despite that they are grown men in their 30s.

In this episode we talk about getting into altercations with experienced shoppers in supermarkets, the merits of leaving milk in the refrigerator until it solidifies for easier disposal, tricking your children into thinking your favorite cereal is health food, the many infuriating new flavors of mayonnaise and the strange cases of Miracle Whip and Cool Whip.

This episode is sponsored by MailChimp, a great service we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide To Everything: Martial Arts

by | March 4th, 2013

This week we talk about Martial Arts, because we've both been endlessly fascinated by people punching and kicking each other. First, we recap our NYC live show and our experience at an open mic comedy night in which the comedian is a horrible racist. Then Tim talks about a Judo championship match he is attending because of the prospect of free beer, and Tom reminisces about being a teenager and studying the art of karate in a strip mall dojo alongside a sad man in his 30s. Then, we solve a problem from a listener who is dating a man considerably older than her.

This week's episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check them out at www.mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide to Everything: Tim & Tom Solve Your Friend-Making, Friend-Ending and DVD Lending Problems

by | February 25th, 2013

Tim starts off by promising this will be an all karaoke episode but quickly loses interest and begins discussing the harmonies in Neil Young songs at detail instead. Instead the guys decide to do an all Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems to officially open the gates for listeners to send in their problems for the upcoming New York City and European shows in March. The first problem is a follow-up from Terrence, who previously wrote in to complain about not being able to attract girls as easily now that he works for a non-profit. Now he wants to know how to make friends as a single man in his 30s. This of course leads to a discussion of old grizzled surfer guys, the time Tim did a 360 on a boogie board and the time he almost killed himself trying to surf. Tom explains the difference between wet suits and dry suits and Tim's parents buy a young Tim a custom-made bootleg Scottie Pippin jersey.

Lastly Tim and Tom solve Katrina's problem concerning her male BFF systematically working his way through all of her friends' pants and Carolyn asks us to solve her problem concerning the return of The Office DVDs lent to a friend a long time ago.

This week's episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check them out at www.mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide To Everything: Meteors

by | February 18th, 2013

This week we talk about the latest terrifying meteor and asteroid events that made us all think that we might possibly die suddenly and without warning at any time. We also discuss NASA's starting lack of telescopes, the difference between an asteroid and a meteor and why Fred Flintstone was kind of a jerk.

Also, Tim tells a tale of an aggressive truck driver who might be tracking him down to do him harm, we announce a New York live show (March 1st at UCB East) and we hear from someone on the "inside" at McDonald's who we plan to get special information from.

This week's episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check them out at www.mailchimp.com. READ MORE

Podcasts

The Complete Guide To Everything: McDonald's Part 2 – The Return of the Arch Deluxe

by | February 11th, 2013

This week, we go further down the McDonald’s rabbit hole and discuss the strange case of the Arch Deluxe, a hamburger marketed towards adults, and how kids everywhere thought that this pepper-flavored burger might convince their parents to eat fast food seven nights a week. We also talk about the brief history of hot dogs at the Golden Arches, which were banned for being “unhygienic” and debate whether or not Chicken Selects are available across the United States. (By the way, if your local McDonald’s sells Chicken Selects, take a picture and send an email to thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com so that Tim can win his $1,000 bet with Tom.)

We spend a good amount of time discussing this brilliant article posted on The Awl that dreams of a McWorld in Times Square that would provide a global McDonald’s experience. You should read it immediately.

Additionally, we start off with some snow talk, debating the difference between a Snowmageddon and a Snowpocalypse while decrying the shoddy treatment of local TV weathermen whenever a B-list celebrity drops by.

This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we actually use for our newsletters. Check it out at mailchimp.com. READ MORE

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