Splitsider

 

The Complete Guide to Everything: 2013 Year in Review

This week Tim finds out he wasn’t invited to the annual Complete Guide to Everything corporate Christmas party due to his behavior last year and we discuss the year that was: 2013. No stone is left unturned as we talk about the year’s biggest celebrity break-ups, “buzzwords” and other “events”.

Also we give an Englishman advice about how to woo American women by acting like Hugh Grant.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Christmas Shopping

This week, while other podcasts are taking the week off, we are giving invaluable advice regarding last minute Christmas shopping. Tom in particular has a lot of advice to give, as he has not bought any presents for anybody as of 3 days before Christmas. As he explains, he's been too busy getting riled up by the local news. Tim, on the other hand, has all his shopping done, with enough time left over to come up with ideas about how to get beat up by Best Buy security guards and score a huge cash settlement.

In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we tackle a bizarre problem from a running enthusiast regarding some mysterious puke. Merry Christmas everyone!

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and audiobook download of your choice by going to www.tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Home Alone 2

This week we’re talking Home Alone 2, and nothing but Home Alone 2. Except of course for the first like 20 minutes or so where Tim recounts a harrowing tale of a hamburger delivery gone wrong. But then after that, it’s like almost all Home Alone 2 talk.

Is Home Alone 2 just a direct rip-off of Home Alone 1? Or have the events of Home Alone 1 made Kevin McCallister into a sociopathic monster hell-bent on ruining his family’s life and torturing criminals for his own sadistic pleasure? Also, we discuss whether the Occupy Wall Street movement should have used Peter McCallister (the father) as the symbol of corporate greed for everyone to rally against.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Drones

This week we drone on about drones (HAHA just kidding, that's just a joke… a preview of some of the hilarity you'll hear in this episode), but not the controversial scary kind. Tom has become obsessed with Amazon's recently announced prototypical drone delivery service and has some big plans for when its implemented.

We also talk about an encounter on the street with a few colorful characters of varying levels of attractiveness and we discuss the job of "futurist" as a possible career path. And in a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we discuss a listener's question about her devotion to her pets.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Open Letters

This week Tim discusses having to find a new chiropractor who isn’t a racist, and his extensive collection of swords and letter openers. The idea of the Joker surrounding himself with henchmen with heart conditions is dissected before moving onto the main topic: Open Letters.

We discuss a man’s open letter to a restaurant demanding an employee be fired for not letting him wear his $1,500 creep toy as well as Sinead O’Connor’s open letter to Miley Cyrus. We also solve a listener problem concerning being on the other end of unrequited love while trying not to ruin Christmas for everyone.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide To Everything: Thanksgiving

It's the time of year for Tim and Tom's favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. Apparently we haven't done an episode about this yet (we checked Wikipedia and everything!) so we try to make it as comprehensive as possible. This mostly entails discussing which ABBA songs we think Harry Styles is aware of and the things that annoy us about Morrissey.

Also, we talk about how confusing the story of "The First Thanksgiving" is for kids, and Tim remembers a Thanksgiving essay he wrote as a 7 year old that got him in trouble with his teacher.

We also announce that our brand new t-shirts and tote bags are available at tcgte.com/store, but it's not like a commercial at all. It's more like two podcasters at the top of their game just riffing, ya know what I mean? You won't even realize you're being marketed to.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and an audiobook download of your choice at tcgte.com/audible!

The Complete Guide to Everything: Personal Finance

This week we’re talking about personal finance, and to kick it off we decide to talk about a bunch of things we don’t understand, such as the iPhone app Bitstrips, the NSA, running robots, soldiers’ personal assistants, Second Life destroying relationships, addicting iPhone games and Snapchat.

Later Tom rants about the new fancy pants “Coin” credit credit bluetooth do-hicky for your phone while simultaneously defending his nerd watch, leading to Tim demanding to go through Tom’s wallet card by card live on air. Tim also talks about the time his identity was stolen and resulted in fraudulent adult website charges on his credit card as Tom explains how he uses American Express as his own personal small business bully before explaining his plans to sell his PS4 to a spoiled child.

We also solve a listener problem from a college guy who’s girlfriend doesn’t want anyone to know she’s his girlfriend.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Coffee Shop Etiquette

This week we talk about how people should act every morning when they get their cup of coffee. But first, we discuss why you probably shouldn't buy a ukelele if you live in Brooklyn and the surprising fact that hipsters haven't built their own planes.

Also this week, Tom decides that he will be more assertive and offers a lot of opinions about a number of different things that may or may not be relevant to the topic at hand. Tim is upset with the attitudes of people who work on television shows that film in his neighborhood and has some ideas about how they can better behave when in coffee shops.

Finally, we solve a problem of a listener who is moving to a new city and wants to avoid another potential new resident.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and audiobook download at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Writing a Novel

This week we’re talking about writing a novel because guess what? Tom wrote a novel.

We also discuss some other guy who uses the pseudonym of Tom Reynolds, SAG name rules, the other Mark Wahlberg and maybe the most horrific episode of a game show ever thanks to Fox’s now canceled ‘Moment of Truth’.

After that’s out of the way attention is turned to NaNoWriMo  National Novel Writing Month), where thousands and thousands of people around the world try to crank out a full length novel in just one month’s time. We give advice from famous writers whose names we cannot remember, talk about Stephen King’s thirst for revenge, and take a look at Amazon’s Top Ten Bestselling Books of 2012 and look at how to take elements from all of them to guarantee yourself a spot on 2014’s list.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Jury Duty

This week we hear the epic tale of Tom's recent time spent at the local courthouse. No, he wasn't once again accused of a crime he didn't commit, he was there for jury duty. Who was there with him? Well, a famous movie star you might know. (Michael Rapaport, perhaps? No, not Michael Rapaport.) And a judge and some bailiffs… you know, the whole gang.

Also, Tim talks about a recent marathon of the television show Extreme Couponing he watched for 8 hours, and we discuss whether or not it is possible to buy gold doubloons from the government.

Finally, in a new installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems, we tackle a problem from a listener named Aaron who had his name ruined by a funny sketch. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the best and easiest way to build your own websites. Check them out at www.squarespace.com/tcgte.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Home Invasion

This week’s episode starts off with the exciting announcement that Tom has used a whole container of milk for the first time in his adult life. Of course, this then leads to a conversation about making butter in Kindergarten and which is better: Seamless or Delivery.com.

Later in the episode we discuss possibly living solely on emergency rations and Tim talks about wanting to to change his name to Sam Malone and the proximity of White Castle to his new apartment before recounting the terrifying tale of coming home to find all of his doors unlocked and open.

Finally the episode ends with Tim and Tom solving a problem involving what kind of gift to buy a boss and Tom announces that he wrote a book and didn’t tell anyone about it.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Electronic Dance Music

This week we discuss Electronic Dance Music (EDM), an entire genre of music that Tim just learned about by reading an article in the New Yorker, officially making him an irrelevant old man. To be fair, Tom doesn't really understand much about it either, and the two of us just fumble our way through trying to decipher something that is meant for people much, much younger and cooler than us.

Also, Tim has trouble canceling internet service and must come up with a big lie to avoid offending a customer service representative, and Tom tries his hand at vigilanteism when he witnesses what may possibly be a crime outside his window.

Finally, we announce a brand new addition to the Complete Guide family, a new podcast called "Pop Everything" that begins this Thursday! Check it out on iTunes or at tcgte.com.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the best and easiest way to build you own websites. Check them out at www.squarespace.com/tcgte.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Modern Art

This week we’re talking about something neither of us is qualified to talk about in anyway whatsoever: Modern Art! But before the conversation gets all hoity-toity we discuss Tom’s love of summertime and seasonal beers. We also discuss the merits of possibly just putting MSG on all the food you eat to make it delicious and Tom recounts the time he ruined a turf soccer field by bleeding all over it.

As far as artists are concerned, we cover everyone from Banksy to Hanksy, making stops in between to discuss graffiti as an art form, adults who skateboard, Miley Cyrus, @Horse_ebooks, Sting’s real meaning behind The Police’s ‘The Bed’s Too Big Without You’, Tilda Swinton, Jennifer Aniston, Marina Abramović, and all the nuns Tim has been hanging out with recently.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

The Complete Guide to Everything: Claire Danes

This week, we have a bit of a miscommunication in the scheduling department, and an interview with a popular Hollywood starlet that Tim thinks was going to happen is put in jeopardy. As we wait for the possible arrival of Claire Danes we talk about Tom's trip to a pet store and Tim's encounter with a crusty old hippie biker.

We also discuss Tim's unfortunate run-in with Claire Danes at a Beck concert in 1997 and a more positive encounter with her My So Called Life co-star Jared Leto at a clothing store. Additionally, Tom shares his strong feelings regarding bands with movie stars as members.

In a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we tackle a gross problem about a hoarder roommate and answer a question about Breaking Bad. (No spoilers, we promise!)

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Check them out at www.squarespace.com/tcgte9.