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Lena Dunham Wrote a Thing About How Much She Likes Puppies for 'The New Yorker'

Lena Dunham wrote a personal essay called "A Box of Puppies" that appears in The New Yorker this week. It's worth the read if you like Lena Dunham's writing and/or puppies.

Jonathan Ames Lost His Fork and Wrote About It in the Times

"I live like the Unabomber, but without his sense of purpose." That's Jonathan Ames, creator of the recently-cancelled Bored to Death, in a funny essay about losing his fork at home.

Roseanne Sounds Warrior Rallying Cry for Aging Women Everywhere

Holy mackerel. Roseanne's three-page-long ode to menopause is really intense. Aside from being funny and something we ladies should probably all email to our future selves, it makes me feel like everyone connected on this human journey and that being a woman is like riding a giant pirate ship through the Amazon, stopping only to spear fish before forging on ahead through the jungle to take pictures of parrots (I may be thinking of the popular 1994 computer game The Amazon Trail). Here is what she says to fellow menopause-passers:

Ahoy, matey! Hail, hail, all ye who enter here! You have arrived! Congratulations, sister!

You have made [...]

Ricky Gervais Loves Twitter After All

Ricky Gervais' admission that Twitter is actually pretty cool after all (welcome to 2011, RG) quickly morphs into a meditation on the meaning of art, criticism and creative play. Give it a read if you're trying to put off doing something creative.

Todd Levin Will Convince You That Pigs Are Too Cute to Eat

This essay on vegetarianism from Conan writer Todd Levin includes a photograph of a pig and a description of how she is content to "happily snort in her BabyBjörn." So maybe don't read it if you want to continue feeling okay about eating pork.

Louis C.K. on Why Women Will Rule the World

Oh, just your weekly reminder that Louis C.K. is fantastic, in the form of an essay about how "the next Steve Jobs will be a chick." Given his appreciation for ladies' talents at listening, toothbrushing, and being fun to hang out with, it's kind of amazing that Louis doesn't have ninety women trailing him every time he leaves the house. I mean, how long will it take for someone to start photoshopping quotes from this article onto soulful pictures of Louis C.K.'s face? Am I gonna have to do this myself? Because I will.

Ricky Gervais Explains The Roots of British Sarcasm And Teasing

To me at least, it can feel a little self-important when Ricky Gervais makes one of his descents from the mountain of wisdom and explains what comedy is to the rest of us proles. But his latest essay, on the difference between American and British humor, makes some good points about the role of a comedian:

…I believe you should say what you mean. Be honest. No one should ever be offended by truth. That way you’ll never have to apologize. I hate it when a comedian says, “Sorry for what I said.” You shouldn’t say it if you didn’t mean it and you should never regret anything [...]

Paul Feig on His First Kiss and Subsequent Catastrophic Humiliation

Paul Feig's essay for Rookie Magazine about his first kiss, and his very embarrassing response to it, is probably as close to a time machine as you're gonna get today. It makes me feel better about my own sixth grade experience at a kissing party, when I was afraid to kiss a boy on the lips or cheek so I kissed his hand like he was the Queen of England. Ah, youth.

The Not-Actually-That-Dark Secrets of an SNL Writer, Revealed

Ever wanted to know the REAL story behind the "Wii Guys" SNL sketch? Or which sketch Mike Tyson was high on MARIJUANA for? Those stories and more are aired in this super top secret mystery blind item confidential confessional essay from an unnamed SNL writer. (The essay also includes enough details about his pre-SNL career that it's possible to pinpoint its writer as Bryan Tucker. So much for mystery. But it's still a fun read.)

Ricky Gervais Says He Had the Idea for Night at the Museum First

Ricky Gervais' biggest career regret: thinking of the concept for Night at the Museum in 1999 but not finishing the screenplay, thereby missing out on the billion dollars the movie grossed. Good thing he's so humbly telling us about it now so we don't forget what a comedy genius he is.

This one marks the latest in a series of essays by Gervais, about Gervais. In other news, one time I thought it would be cool to make a movie about a ship sinking, so James Cameron owes me a billion dollars for Titanic. Oh wait, no he doesn't, because there's [...]

Conan Writer Todd Levin On Status And Parking In LA

This essay by Conan writer Todd Levin about the status obsession in LA is a fun, if slightly depressing, read. Here's what he has to say about parking on a studio lot:

It’s not just people; even the places in Los Angeles are designed with subtle status-checking devices. The studio “drive on” versus “walk on” is a classic example. Those invited to drive directly onto a studio lot are imbued with higher status, while the rest are forced to park across the street in a (filthy! disgusting!) parking structure, then exit said structure, cross the street (for everyone to see!) and walk through the studio to your meeting [...]

Patton Oswalt on Memory and Our Media Appetite

Patton Oswalt posted a long piece on his website today about a bit from his first standup album that centers on an old commercial for Stella d'Oro Breakfast Treats. He ended up finding the ad online, and he uses it as a launching point for ruminations on memory and how its tied to our obsession with hoarding physical media. But the books! The books, everywhere! Yes, they "furnish a room," and there are certain ones I really do intend to re-read someday, when I'm older and know I'll experience them differently (everyone should be required to read Huck Finn at 9, 21, 40 and then 60). But how [...]