Patricia Lockwood Writes About Perfectly Roasted Pturkeydactyls for 'Grub Street'

"11 p.m.: I sip a mug of kratom tea, which is a legal vitamin that makes music sound better to people. It also makes you very hungry. Under its influence, I wolf an enormous turkey sandwich while listening to Brain Salad Surgery and become one with the glittering cosmos. My mouth glistens with a galaxy of mayonnaise. Turkey is … a dinosaur, I think, disoriented, and fall asleep dreaming of myself flying a pturkeydactyl so close to the sun that it becomes perfectly roasted and embraces me with a pair of enormous brown drumsticks. Food is truly a miracle."

Poet and author Patricia Lockwood chronicles five days of [...]

Amy Poehler, Aubry Plaza And Rashida Jones Confirm Candy Is, Will Always Be Delicious

Part of me feels this video of Amy Poehler, Aubrey Plaza and Rashida Jones taste-testing candy will only teach teenagers it's okay to eat boxes of candy you receive unsolicited in the mail. So in that regard, it's more like the opposite of a PSA. Another lesson learned? How many lifeforms die per year from eating Poprocks: 10 to 20 humans, 20 ducks or waterfowl. "Interesting. It feels like spider babies are being born in my mouth," Plaza notes as she samples the rocks. Kids…do not try to make your own Poprocks at home, no matter how many spider egg sacs you find in your attic.