It's been a long road to get here, but Ron Burgundy visited Conan last night to announce that there will indeed be an Anchorman 2. He also advised that Conan do a "page one rewrite" on his face, but that's far less important right now. Apparently, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd and David Koechner will be back as the rest of the Action 4 news team in a script written by Ferrell and Adam McKay. Viva la whale vagina!
Oh boy, the deleted scenes from last week's "Real Housewives of Disney" SNL sketch are amazing. I would listen to Taran Killam's Prince Charming laugh for literally days. Seriously, if someone configured that part of this video to loop forever and emailed it to me it would be a really effective way to murder me, because I'd just watch it until I starved to death, staring at him and laughing along like some kind of hysterical Narcissus. Overall, though, the best line of this video has to be "Her best friend is a candelabra, if you know what I mean," because I have NO IDEA what it means.
"At center, number 13, he's a Scorpio and a horrible dancer, Joakim Noah!" Will Ferrell did such an awesome job introducing the starting lineups of the New Orleans Hornets and the Chicago Bulls at their game last night, he might need to be promoted to Chief Comedian in Charge of Sports. Come to think of it, it's too bad he couldn't do all the intros in the game scenes in his own basketball movie Semi-Pro. Assuming there were game scenes in that movie and not just montages of Afros and short-shorts.
With that scavenging vulture Jon Stewart clutching the Colbert Super PAC in his greedy talons, Stephen Colbert took matters into his own hands last night and paid him a little visit on The Daily Show. They ended up embarking on a foot chase that can only be described as truly epic. It can also be described by saying that by the end of it, you may be very afraid of ever crossing Stephen Colbert. Part 2 below.
Todd Glass was on WTFpod yesterday, where he publicly came out and proceeded to have a fascinating, honest discussion with Maron about his own story, the relationship between comedy and bullying, and why we need to just accept other human beings, already. Here's one piece of his message:
Leave everybody the fuck alone. Let people do what they want. And that's why that's my bigger cause. You know the gay flag? I always thought it would be better to have another flag – not pro-gay, pro-everything. I don't give a fuck: transgender, gay, straight, you're a little feminine. That flag means we don't give a fuck who you [...]
Hey, anyone laboring under the impression that Arrested Development was meticulously plotted down to the last chicken dance before the first episode ever aired:
We were fitting a wig for George, for a scene when he'd have hair, and I walked outside, and Mitch [Hurwitz] was way high up in the writers' room and looking down, and he saw me with the wig — it wasn't cut yet, so it came down past my shoulders — and he said, "Hold it right there!" And that's how Oscar was born. That's what was so great about the show, how stuff that happens on set could transform the show.
That's Jeffrey [...]
Why does Will Ferrell sing songs in Spanish? Yo no se! Just kidding, I do know, it's to promote his Spanish comedy Casa de Mi Padre. Along with this video comes the full soundtrack list for the movie, which includes tracks entitled Fuzzorama, Chubby Duckling, and Luv Butts, along with more than one songs by a group called Mayan Ghost Choir. There are music-related Academy Awards in this film's future, for sure.
You only have a few hours left to purchase a shirt featuring Calvin-Troy and Hobbes-Abed hanging out in a blanket fort for $10. Unless you are Inspector Spacetime, of course, in which case you have all the time in the known universe and beyond.
In this Colbert Report segment, Stephen turns to Maurice Sendak for advice on crafting his own line of celebrity children's books. Who knew Maurice Sendak was the DEFINITION of crotchety? He's so great. He's got all the panache of your grumpy grandpa who isn't afraid to call it like he sees it, whether the topic is Newt Gingrich or Stephen Colbert's Ziploc baggie full of illustrated penises. Role model alert.
Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein will guest star on The Simpsons sometime next fall as a cool Portland couple who move to Springfield. In other words, they'll basically be playing Portlandia characters in an animated world. In their episode, "Homer desperately tries to befriend them, but Marge is skeptical that being cool isn’t all it’s cracked up to be." But crossovers are!
So it turns out Woody Allen basically figured out the plot of Midnight in Paris in the late 1960s. That's how it seems when you listen to this footage of him doing standup from back in the day, anyhow. It's kind of amazing that a concept like this can stay in the back of someone's mind for 50 years before it becomes a movie. It's a good thing he never actually got punched by Ernest Hemingway, because the ensuing brain damage would surely render that impossible.
In the opening of The Colbert Report last night, Stephen addressed the rumors that have been swirling around in the wake of his absence last week. He's not running for president or being kidnapped by the Pope, but he is in danger of being awarded the Sweetest Son Ever Award: in a rare moment of sincerity for the show, he sends a message to his mother at the end of the opening. Now we know where he gets his legendary toughness from!
Chris Rock says he's been writing a script for him and Melissa McCarthy to play a "Jerry Springer couple." I don't know, Chris Rock, with this and your suggestions of touring with Dave Chappelle, I'm getting a little suspicious that you have been reading my dream journal and trying to recreate its contents to make me go insane with excitement. Next thing you know you'll be planning a sitcom pilot about me playing volleyball against the cast of Saved by the Bell and then realizing I'm not wearing a shirt.
Observe the bearded, be-flanneled gentleman shown here, on the Queerenstein Bears trivia team from last week's episode of The Office. Is it Steve Carell? It sure looks like him, but NBC will neither confirm nor deny the man's Carellness. Personally, I will choose to believe it is him, using the same part of my brain that chooses to believe unprovable statements like "Fairies exist" and "It's all going to be okay."
