Splitsider

 

Michael Cera Delves Into His Texting Past in 'The New Yorker'

"Jeremy, a man I am no longer in touch with, was someone I once considered a friend. It started out very simply: one day I received a text message from a phone number I did not recognize. Intrigued, I replied, and thus began an intimate and illuminating correspondence."

- Shouts & Murmurs in this week's New Yorker comes from none other than Michael Cera, about an actor named "Michael Cera" who ends up involved in a strangely beautiful text message relationship.

Megan Amram Reviews 'America'

In honor of its 236 seasons on air, Megan Amram reviewed the hit series America. As she writes: "It may not have the staying power of perennial favorites such as China or the credibility of indie darlings such as Finland, but America has proven that it can at least make some cultural impact. It’s not the best, but hey, they can’t all be Louie." She's right, they can't. Read the full review here.

Presidential Metaphors For a Presidential Day

“It’s like cartwheeling naked through a cactus field." – Grover Cleveland, "What It's Like Being President, Metaphorically Speaking" on McSweeney's. This President's Day, find out how your favorite Prez would describe his job, using metaphors.

Help Fund an 'Army Man'-Esque Comedy Zine Featuring Pieces by 'Onion,' 'Colbert,' and 'Community' Writers

John Harris, a former writer for The Onion and The Onion News Network, is putting together a comedy zine inspired by George Meyer's Army Man, and he's turned to Kickstarter to seek funding to cover printing costs and finish the project. Featuring humor pieces from writers for Community, 30 Rock, The Daily Show, The Onion, The Colbert Report, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Kroll Show, and Adult Swim, the humor zine is called Pendulous Breasts Quarterly (or PBQ for short). This 100-plus-page volume is the second issue of PBQ and it's entitled PBQ Presents: Madame Bainbridge's Compendium Of Primo Dong. You can check out pieces from the first [...]

Wine List, by Gillian Weeks

ROBERT-DENOGENT, Macon-Solutre, Chardonnay, '08 - 12/51.00 Approachable, fruit-forward, an instant favorite. Notes of peach and honeysuckle suggest easy drinking but ultimately blindside you with a vicious shot to the ego. Available by the glass.

DOMAINE ROLLIN, Cote d'or, Pinot Noir, '07 - 13/58.00 A very popular bottle that apparently every guy in flannel and a beard has already enjoyed. Though it expresses some beguiling tannins, you’ll like it less when you find out it’s served all over Park Slope and a lot of Astoria. Available by the hour, I mean, glass.

DOMAINE LE BRISEAU "PATAPON," Coteaux de Loir, Pineau D'aunis - 60.00 Complex and contradictory flavors. Dry and fruity. Sweet and acidic all at once. This [...]

Rob Kutner's New Humor Kindle Single Is Impuse-Buy-Worthy at $1

Conan writer Rob Kutner has just released a new Kindle single called The Future According To Me, a short book comprised of "35 tiny-to-moderate-length comic scenarios of what our future might look like — touching on everything from nanotechnology to swappable genitals to existentially self-aware Smart Toilets and the upcoming Chocolate Famine." It's only 99 cents! Perfect for sticking on your Kindle or smartphone via the Kindle app and reading when you've got a moment to spare. So go get it already.

Citizens Untied: Parody in the Age of Corporate Media

For 20 years now I’ve been locked in a test of wills with corporate publishing, trying to produce books that are just as funny as TV and movies. That should be possible, right? One would think. Sometimes I win (international bestseller), sometimes they do (they commission books, then don’t pay me). I tell myself it’s David versus Goliath…but it’s probably just Joe Versus the Volcano.

Comedy being 90% confidence, there’s often a rough equivalence between a media’s swag, and the quality of comedy found in it. But weakness and decay can yield fruit as well — Garrison Keillor on the radio, for example, or The Onion rising from the ashes of [...]

Don't Trip on Your Way to Reading This

"Your foolishness – the foolishness that lead you to trip, on the sidewalk no less – is mythical. In the future, unexaggerated tales of your blunders will be thought the fabrications of a long forgotten and superstitious age." – A Person with Severe Social Anxiety Imagines What Will Happen If Seen Tripping on a Sidewalk, by our own Rebecca O'Neal. We would've quoted more of this article, but we fell down.