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Parents I'm Glad Aren't Mine Are Protesting Ben and Jerry's Schweddy Balls

Because there are literally no bigger problems in the world worthy of people's attention, a parents group called One Million Moms (whose 584 Twitter followers lead me to believe their name is a slight exaggeration) is protesting Ben and Jerry's new SNL-inspired ice cream flavor Schweddy Balls. "The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive," they say in their statement. Meanwhile, this vulgar new parent's group is turning something as innocent as parents into something repulsive.

Guys, Now Ricky Gervais Will Never Be Nominated for a Golden Globe!!!

A small minority of whiners have been complaining that Ricky Gervais' Golden Globes monologue contained jokes that were just too mean. Oh, poor Angelina Jolie! How dare anyone make fun of her for making a bad movie that everyone agrees was bad! How will she, one of the richest and most famous people in the world, ever recover from such mighty barbs? We're in a recession, for chrissakes! Won't someone think of John Travolta's feelings? But the joke he made at the expense of Philip Berk, the current head of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, seems to have gotten him in the most trouble.

Real-Life Johnny Bananas Suing Entourage in Douchiest Trial of the Century

An MTV reality "star" by the name of Johnny Bananas is suing the creators of Entourage because they use that name as the title of Johnny Drama's highly improbable animated series, Johnny's Bananas, in the show. Hopefully, the judge will sentence all involved parties to a life sentence on the grounds of come the fuck on.

Jackass 3.5 Coming to the Internet in Weekly Installments

If you enjoyed the idiotic stunts of Jackass 3D (and really, how could you not?), get ready for even more of em. Footage that didn't make the final cut, along with new footage shot in Europe for this half-sequel, are coming to the internet in installments in March. Later, they'll all be gathered up for a feature-length release on DVD.

Weekly installments of short videos seem like a good format for the Jackass boys, as by minute 80 of the movies even the most enthusiastic of poo-prank aficionados can get a little burned out.

Here's the Trailer for Jackass 3.5, Coming April 1st

Jackass 3.5 (Exclusive Trailer Premiere) There was plenty of extra footage leftover from Jackass 3D, so MTV is putting out a straight-to-DVD semi-sequel on, naturally, April Fool's Day. Here's the first trailer for it. Yep, looks about right. I'm on board. [via]