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Letters

Groucho Marx's Funny Apology Letter to Woody Allen

by | September 17th, 2012

After meeting in 1961, Woody Allen and Groucho Marx became fast friends, despite their 45-year age difference. Letters of Note has a letter Groucho wrote Woody in 1967, apologizing for being out of contact for a while and it's SO great. It starts:

Dear WW:

Goodie Ace told some unemployed friend of mine that you were disappointed or annoyed or happy or drunk that I hadn't answered the letter you wrote me some years ago. You know, of course, there is no money in answering letters—unless they're letters of credit from Switzerland or the Mafia. I write you reluctantly, for I know you are doing six things simultaneously—five [...]

Letters

Bill Hicks and a Priest Don't Walk Into a Bar – They Send Letters

by | April 30th, 2012

Back in 1993 a priest wrote to Channel 4, complaining about their airing of Bill Hick's "blasphemous" special Revelations. Smartly, and luckily for us, the network let Hicks respond directly. The result of which, is a funny, articulate, not particularly angry letter that perfectly encapsulates Hicks' view on freedom of speech and religion. He writes:

Letters

Groucho Marx Entertained the Troops With Weed Jokes in 1943

by | December 19th, 2011

Groucho Marx wrote this very sweet letter to U.S. troops in Suriname in 1943, in which he manages to express sincere appreciation for the troops but also include a joke about accidentally eating marijuana from his vegetable garden for an entire month. You know Harpo got him into it, that scallywag. Anyway, that versatility is why Groucho's the greatest. That and the fact that his facial features are distinct enough to be made into a mask.

Letters

Terry Gilliam Feels Every Cut as a Castration

by | June 7th, 2012

Months after Terry Gilliam's Brazil was already a success abroad, he and the studio were still fighting over how to cut it for America. When the studio head at the time, Sid Sheinberg, wanted to turn the very dark comedy into a light-hearted romp, Gilliam came at him hard. Well, as hard as a letter can be. He wrote:

I am not sure you are aware of just how much pain you are inflicting, but I don't believe "responsibility to the company" in any way absolves you from crimes against even this small branch of humanity. As long as my name is on the film, what is done [...]

Letters

Kenny Powers' Advice for Tim Tebow, From One Gifted Young Athlete to Another

by | February 8th, 2012

"Even though he's hooking me up, I still see it's kind of a cocksucker move on Jesus's part." – Tim Tebow received an open letter from another talented athlete, none other than Kenny Powers. And it's good advice for all of us: don't let 'em shit in your Wheaties.

Letters

Comedian Spike Milligan Solves Ancient Hospital Gown Conundrum

by | October 28th, 2011

Many have tried and failed to sort out the matter of too-long or -short dressing gowns. Great minds have disintegrated in the slippery confusion of this issue, grown men driven mad by the impossibility of covering everyone's knees without making them trip over excess fabric! Only an absolute genius could come up with the sole viable solution (it involves dwarves). Luckily, there was a genius comedian around in 1971 named Spike Milligan, and his correspondance on the issue has been uncovered here.

Letters

Hillary Clinton Lets Jason Segel Down Easy

by | May 1st, 2012

A little while back, Jason Segel told Us Weekly that he really wanted to put Madam Secretary Clinton in his next film, saying you can feel her comic chops "from a mile away." Well, it seems like Mrs. Clinton took his offer very seriously and wrote him a letter to say she just doesn't have time right now to star in Forgetting Sarah Marshall 2: More Forgettable, Sarahier and Marshallest but maybe one day:

Letters

How to Get People to Stop Ignoring You: The Douglas Adams Method

by | January 17th, 2012

Next time you are trying to work on a project with someone and they aren't giving you any information about how to improve it, just do what Douglas Adams did when he was trying to adapt The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy into a movie in 1999: send them a letter and include a ridiculously long list of ways to contact you. That way, as Adams puts it, "If you manage not to reach me, I shall know you're trying not to, very, very hard indeed." By the way, if you don't like this post, you can contact me at my aunt's boyfriend's florist shop at 22 Main [...]

Letters

Graham Chapman's Ridiculous Letters

by | August 24th, 2011

Today, Letters of Note has two correspondences from Monty Python's Graham Chapman, both of which are totally ridiculous and wonderful for different reasons. One is to his bank manager, and the other is to a female fan. One of them was CC'd to Hugh Hefner; can you guess which one? Hint: the one with the crude drawing of a naked women covering the entire thing.

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