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Dad’s Return From the War Should Not Count as a Birthday Gift, by John Ambrosio

Strategies for Defending a Basketball-Playing Dog, by Daniel Carrillo

Fear Not Change, Fear Not Entropy, I Am Your New Sesame Street Muppet, by Alex Firer

A Letter to My Future Daughter’s Best Friend, by Dan Fitzpatrick

The Essential Guide to the Modern Man, by David Henne

Red Lobster Would Be Delighted to Assist with Your Marriage Proposal, by Bizzy Coy

I Didn’t Know That When I Taught This Town to Dance They’d Give Up on Their God, by Luke Strickler

Attention Passengers: The Baldwin Brothers Are Sitting on the Wing of the Aircraft, by Jamie Loftus

Space Camp Progress Report, by Lucas Gardner

A Request For Time Off Work to Be Spiritual Like My Friend, Wesley, by Matthew Mazer

An Open Letter to the Star My Uncle Named After Me, by Matthew David Brozik

I Ate a Hundred Marbles and Now My MALE Doctor Says I’m Full of Glass? Nice Try, Mansplainers! by Mitra Jouhari

An Excerpt from ‘The Drama Sutra,’ by Paige Weldon

A Letter of Complaint to the Bureau of Genies, Monkey’s Paws, and Birthday Candles, by Chris Morgan

Let Me Make You a Sound Bath, Babe, by Nihar Patel

An Excerpt from ‘Trump’s America: The Complete Loser’s Guide,’ by Scott Dikkers

Being From the Case Files of Chandler Bing: A Study in White, by Julien Darmoni

The Metrics of Fool-Shaming, by Zack Bornstein

I’m Changing This Bar’s Jazz Jam Session Rules, by Brian Dunn

Gentlemen, It Seems My Briefcase is Full of Candy, Not Money, by Eric Farwell