The Final chapter of the Everything is Terrible tour diary, where we reflect, repent, deny and distort and say shit like, “Damn that awesome.”
It was a long journey. We were on the road for nearly three months. We played 75 shows. We had six days off. We drank a lot of beers. We made lots of wraps in the van. We unloaded the van and loaded the van and unloaded the van and loaded the van. We set up our stage and performed and took everything down and put it in the van and drove towards sleep. Over and over again. We woke up and drove and did it again. The [...]
All Dogs Go On Tour, Part 4: Where we escape America, play our way down the coast, go to Hollywood in Portland, and the news is that local news sucks.
Every day I wake wondering, “Where the fuck am I?”
This tour is wearing on us. We are living off of coffee and beer and really need to make a conscious effort to eat right and drink lots of water, a boring liquid that keeps one alive and healthy but doesn’t contain chemicals that make one high and happy.
Touring is auto repair shops and truck stops with racist Obama T-shirts. Our brakes are making noises. Squeaks and screams that grow [...]
"Terrible" is scrawled backwards in blood across the hood of our van. It’s backwards so you can see us coming in your rear view mirror. Still, as we drive, I can’t help but feel that the signature is not enough. On previous tours our van was decorated with a naked 1979 beefcake named Cobra, genitals covered only by a babe’s hand. Unfortunately, some Chicago prudes scratched him off with angry fingernails before we left and so for now we are feeling dangerously inconspicuous, boring even. This must not stand. Soon we will get some paint.
It’s hard for me to explain Everything Is Terrible and my part within this monster to my [...]