The One Where I Watched the 'Friends' Porn Parody (NSFW)

The Friends XXX Parody begins with what I can only describe as an Emmy-worthy parody of the famous Friends theme song, featuring such lyrics as “these friends go all the way” and “these friends love to screw.” I would have found it a little on-the-nose if I wasn’t busy adding it to my Party playlist. Unfortunately, this song may very well be the best part of the film.

We first meet our 6 protagonists in Canoga Perk, the Los Angeles version of Central Perk that makes considerably less sense. Here, we learn that “Russ’s” wife Carol has cheated on him with another woman (season 1), “Moanica” and “Sandler” are [...]

Watching the Inevitable 'Two and a Half Men' Porn Parody

This Ain’t Two and a Half Men XXX is the first porn parody I’ve watched of a show that actually invites a porn parody, which helps to explain why, for the first time, the entire film is based on one specific episode (Season 3, Episode 20 “Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro”).

In this episode, according to Wikipedia, “Alan tries to win Kandi back, while Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi (Gail O'Grady), and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy (Kevin Sorbo).” As far as I can tell, the only difference between the actual episode and the porn parody is that in the [...]

What's the Deal With the Seinfeld Porn Parody?

You guys, straight up, Seinfeld: A XXX Parody is great. Maybe I’m just becoming more and more enamored with the genre as I go, but I feel like every porn parody I watch is better than the last. And Seinfeld is, so far, the cream de la cream.

It opens, accurately, with a stand-up bit from "Gerry" Seinfeld (played by my darling James Deen) that begins “So what’s the deal with pornography?” It just doesn’t get any better than that. From here we cut to a tonally perfect establishing shot outside a XXX video store, where Gerry and Elaina (a fantastic impression from Kristina Rose) are attempting to buy [...]

Watching the 30 Rock Porn Parody as a Parody, and as a Porn

The 30 Rock porn parody starts, inexplicably, with a pitch-perfect parody of an entirely different show, as “Trey Jordan” of  “The Chick Show with Trey Jordan” gives us a Cribs-style tour of his mansion for no reason whatsoever. I’m assuming one of the producers wanted to show off his house? Needless to say, this odd parody within a parody successfully set the tone for my first foray into the weirdest genre in existence: comedy parody porn.

First of all, what? Why do these films exist? Who watches them? And how did they find a porn actor with such a strangely inspired Tracy Morgan impression? This column will aggressively avoid [...]

The Dude Abides: Watching 'The Big Lebowski' Porn Parody

Ever since my friend Jeff Rubin and I interviewed porn parody auteur Lee Roy Myers a few weeks back, I’ve been looking forward to reviewing The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody, his self-proclaimed favorite. Well, I watched it, and 2 hours and 38 minutes of loud sex later (you’re welcome, neighbors) I can now say it’s one of my favorites as well.

The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody's title sequence is, as in the original, a slow-motion collection of people bowling, but instead of weird chubby dudes, it’s big-boobed topless women. I mean, nailing it, right out of the gate. The equally-as-rambling, Sam Elliott-style narration tells us that [...]

Why The Glee Porn Parody is the Worst Thing Ever

In theory, there was no way the This Ain’t Glee XXX porn parody wouldn’t be terrible. Cheesy singing, wholesome student-teacher relationships and unwanted teen pregnancy, all filtered through the lens of hardcore pornography? Luckily, that theory was absolutely correct.

This Ain’t Glee XXX is the worst porn parody I’ve ever seen, and it might be the worst thing I’ve ever seen, period. I say this as both a fan of Glee and a fan of pornography, one of which I’m ashamed to admit publicly.

Let me first answer your immediate questions: yes, there is singing. Yes, most of it is bad. No, they don’t sing real songs, they sing [...]

It Was All Yellow: Reviewing the Simpsons Porn Parody

The Simpsons porn parody should, by all accounts, be the worst film ever made. Which is why I consider it both miraculous and slightly alarming that I found it decidedly enjoyable. Well, as enjoyable as a porn can possibly be when the sex scenes are narrated by Homer Simpson. Let’s just say there is a slight repurposing of his trademark drool.

While watching The Simpsons porn parody, one thought kept coming to mind: they figured out this skin-yellowing camera effect first, and then decided to make the porn, right? It’s so shockingly successful that I can’t imagine it was the “egg” in this scenario. Some PA was messing around [...]

Yes, They Gave Slimer a Boner: Watching the Ghostbusters Porn Parody

It’s a miracle! I finally found a Hustler porn parody that I liked! And not just liked, but fully enjoyed! I laughed, I got turned on…I guess that was it, but hey, that’s a home run right there. I feel like a proud mother whose baby is finally walking, except instead of a baby it’s Hustler and instead of walking it’s making a great porn parody.

This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX begins with an impressive, almost shot-for-shot remake of the opening library scene of Ghostbusters, from the establishing shot of the lion statue to the card catalog snowstorm to the hair-blowing ghost encounter. The only difference is instead of [...]

Watching the Curb Your Enthusiasm Porn Parody: Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Bad

Curb Your Enthusiasm’s eighth season premiered last week after a painfully long 20-month hiatus, and what better way to celebrate its triumphant return than by reviewing a porn parody of a show with basically no sexual figures? What could possibly go wrong?

This Ain’t Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX is the first porn parody I’ve reviewed under the Hustler name, which means no Lee Roy Myers, no James Deen, no Ashlynn Brooke, and worst of all, no Evan Stone’s giant dong (a single tear drips down my cheek). Watching it, I suddenly felt like an outsider at a party I invited myself to. And this party was full of really, [...]

Watching The Office Porn Parody as a Parody, and as a Porn

The Office: A XXX Parody is by far the finest porn parody I’ve seen to date, and that’s saying something, since by this point I’ve watched two full porn parodies. First of all, it stars James Deen as “Jimmy” (previously “Dennis” in the 30 Rock porn parody), so you know I’m already on board. Second of all, the name of the office is Dinder Muffin, which is nothing short of a stroke of idiotic genius. Third of all, it concludes with a scene in which “Michelle” (Michael) and “Holly” tag-team “Toby.” If that’s not a recipe for a great porn parody, I don’t know what is.

The Office [...]