Splitsider

 

Victoria Jackson Solves Occupy Wall Street

First of all, don't even watch this video of SNL alum Victoria Jackson visiting Occupy Wall Street. It's 15 fucking minutes long, and you have better things to do, like take a fork and slowly shove it into your eyeball, through your eye, past the socket and into the part of your brain that has to die in order for anything Victoria Jackson says to make sense. In the film, insane person Jackson questions some random bystanders about the protest movement, grilling them with insightful queries like, "If you want everyone to be equal, how are you going to make them equal in good looks and smart brains? [...]

Someone Is Actually Giving Craig Rowin One Million Dollars

Remember when Craig Rowin made those videos asking for a million dollars? Well, it appears that the unthinkable has happened: someone is doing it. Yes, unless this is a bit (a distinct possibility), Craig will be handed a million-dollar check on February 2nd at the UCB Theatre in NYC. Because he asked for it in a funny way, and you did not.

Craig, remember all the support your friends at Splitsider have given you over the years! I'm not above begging!

50 Books With Worse Amazon Ratings Than Jeff Dunham's New Book

Did you know that Jeff Dunham has a new book out? It's true! All By My Selves: Walter, Peanut, Achmed, and Me came out on Tuesday, and it currently has 5 full stars on Amazon. With reviews that great, it's gotta be a classic! In fact, it must be better than these books, which all have worse reviews than Mr. Dunham's new opus:

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