Splitsider

Where the most relatable creative ambition was once to write the Great American Novel, it is now to maintain the Great American Twitter Feed. And who better to give advice on how to tweet comedically than the Fitzgeralds and Hemingways of Twitter? Here's a sample tip from Mystery Science Theater 3000 writer Bill Corbett:

Try to understand the short form, and be playful within it. Not everything needs to read like a classic "premise, punchline" joke…But understand that tastes vary wildly. Not everyone will think you're hilarious, and some dicks will make sure to tell you so. Don't worry about it.

Quick, before he gets away, let's all [...]

Late last week, news broke that after seemingly months of speculation, even though it was in reality about a week (a HELLACIOUS week, though), The Simpsons will air for two more seasons, its 24th and 25th. That means that in the spring of 2014, there will be over 550 episodes of the world’s most perfectly cromulent show for public consumption, and millions of “This show is still on?” comments on whatever social media platform that will soon destroy Twitter.

But yes, The Simpsons is still on TV. Although it’s not as era-defining as it was during seasons 2-12, it’s still a good sitcom, one that can occasionally [...]

Blackbook did a interview with the wonderful Thomas Lennon in advance of the release of Bad Teacher, in which he has a small role. He gives some advice to young writers and comedians looking to get their break, and it's very good. First, on being a full-time comedy writer: If you have to force yourself to find time to write, it’s not going to work out. If you don’t feel like writing, it’s never going to work out, I guarantee it. Hemingway did a lot of crazy shit. He was catching marlins, and punching people, and going to bull-fights. He still wrote like a motherfucker. So you should [...]

We've all been there: you and a guy are bringing each other to screaming orgasm, but for whatever reason you just can't seem to catch his eye. Argh! Dating! Luckily The Onion's "How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him" video has some great tips for how to get your crush to pick up on your interest when he's slowly, or quickly, sliding inside you. "Don't just bounce around on his penis hoping he's going to compliment your new earrings," warns dating guru Rebeccah Rachel. "Tell him a funny joke as you take off your bra." Truth. Thank god I've been stockpiling [...]

It's been too long since we talked about Louis C.K., right? Yeah, it feels weird for me too. Luckily, a Reddit user posted the autograph C.K. signed for him at his dad's optical shop this weekend. It reads:

Denis, Grow up and don't be an asshole L.C.K.

That guy. He's just the best. Picture below.

“Dance like the photo’s never going to be tagged; Love like you’ve never been defriended; Tweet like no one’s following.”

-Henry David Thoreau

Romantic, isn’t it? Tweet as you will, if you actually had zero followers it would be hard not to let yourself straighten out a curve on the Pacific Coast Highway and plummet blissfully down onto the rocky cliffs below, where at least you’d feel something.

Admit it, it’s fine, you want followers. How many? How many is enough? 200,000? Well as the saying goes, “if you want 200,000 followers, follow 200,000 auto follow-back robots.” But some of us want humans to like us too, and that’s [...]

As a part of their comedy issue, Backstage talked to some of the folks responsible for booking comedians to late night shows. It's certainly not as prevalent a practice as it was back in Carson's day, nor is it still the obvious career boon that it used to be. That being said, you can't really argue with getting a few minutes to tell your jokes on late night TV. Not that the advice is all that surprising: be good, be original, and have some clean material that won't upset network TV sensibilities. Bing bang boom, now you have your own prime-time sitcom!

Nerve asked Danny McBride some dating and sex advice questions, and his answers are pretty priceless. Here he is on what to do if you slept with a coworker you aren't actually interested: "You already took a shit where you eat, homeboy. That's not a good thing. Just ride out the awkwardness. See how weird it'll get, and maybe she'll quit. Make things weirder. Push it a little. Maybe send flowers to her from an anonymous person. Just start coming off like a stalker."

I guess when you're Joan Rivers, even wildly successful standups who've been performing for 25 years are just "starting out." Rivers pays tribute to Louis C.K., who's been named GQ's latest Man of the Year, with some bleak but solid advice:

Your chosen life's work, comedy, is a steaming shithole of cruelty and degeneracy owned and operated by deranged, unattractive thieves. Ignore them. Push forward. Play by your rules and KEEP GOING. Wear blinders if necessary, but KEEP GOING. Don't let other people tell you what's funny. Don't read your reviews— the bad ones hurt too much and the good ones make you weak. It's all about ego [...]

It’s almost impossible these days to watch a comedy movie or TV sitcom that doesn’t feature a comedian from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre either on screen or behind the scenes. From SNL and NBC’s Thursday night line-up to shows on ABC, FOX, MTV, HBO, Adult Swim, Comedy Central and huge films like Bridesmaids, The Hangover(s), I Love You Man, The Other Guys, and many, many more — UCB has taken over.

In my role as Artistic Director of the UCB Theatre in New York City, I was lucky enough to be at ground zero of the UCB Comedy Boom (I’m also happy to say that I too am joining [...]

George Saunders is, in my opinion, the best writer of humorous fiction out there today. He is also hugely inspiring when he talks about writing, so if you're looking for a little dose of kick-in-the-ass, here's a great new interview with him about getting started as a writer. A sample: "Well, this is sort of old-fartish advice – that is, the type of advice someone who already has a tenure-track job would give — but I do mean it: I think the only defensible position is to sort of say to hell with making a living and put all your energy into making something new, that seems beautiful to [...]