An Open Letter From the F.B.I. – Female Body Inspector, by Brian Boone

I have seen countless novelty catalogs, tourist trap gift shops, gag-gift kiosks, and Internet websites sell T-shirts, caps, and coffee mugs that openly mock, belittle, cheapen, and demean me and my profession. I am a public servant who puts his life on the line everyday, and instead of being shown the same respect, kindness, and reverence given freely to policeman, firemen, and members of the military, I am humiliated and forced to constantly defend my job, to explain that it is, in fact, a real thing and a legitimate profession.
My name is Paul Derry, and I am a fully licensed, government-certified Female Body Inspector.
