Posts tagged as computers

Letting My Parents Know, by Blake Henderson

Mom. Dad. Thanks for meeting me here.

I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for years, but I’ve just been pushing it off. I don’t even know why I couldn’t do it. I guess I was just scared of what you would do. How you would react. What you’d tell your friends. And I mean, it’s not like I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be a part of my life. I didn’t do it because I wanted to protect you from the truth. And I know that was selfish— because I literally owe everything to you. But I’m sick of living in the darkness [...]

The "That's What She Said" Joke-Making Computer Program Could Replace Michael Scott

Screw all these other posers, science has gone and solved the issue of who should replace Michael Scott on The Office: a computer program designed to make double entendres. The program is called Double Entendre via Noun Transfer, or DEviaNT, and was created by two computer scientists at the University of Washington, Chloé Kiddon and Yuriy Brun. The program is based on an analysis of two bodies of text: 1.5 million erotic sentences, and another with 57,000 from standard literature. They then evaluated nouns, adjectives and verbs with a "sexiness" function to determine whether a sentence is a potential TWSS [That's What She Said]. Examples of nouns with [...]

Now Computers Are Writing Lousy Jokes Like They Work For Jay Leno Or Something

Christmas crackers—traditional British holiday mini-pinatas that, when pulled apart, frequently contain tiny, crappy toys and a terrible joke (older American readers might recall the Dixie cups of their youth for comparative purposes)—just got a little easier to make… THANKS TO THE MACHINES.