Mom, Dad, I feel like it's finally time for me to come clean about my latest project. You remember that $20,000 you loaned me six months ago? Well, it wasn't for "paying off gambling debt" like I claimed. The money actually financed a studio-quality recording in which I mercilessly rip the both of you to shreds over sonic layers of flawlessly-mixed hip-hop. In the music community, we call this a "diss track."
Before you rush to judgment, let me just say that this isn't about you. Not entirely, at least. I also recorded diss tracks to my landlord, my former landlords, some guy at Dairy Queen who [...]