Splitsider

With the exception of a five-month stint in Los Angeles, I’ve spent my entire life living in New Jersey and Queens, and it shows. I am a stereotypical northeasterner. I’m always in a rush. I’ve attracted stares from out-of-towners when I’ve shoved past someone blocking the subway door. I’ve considered kicking a man’s crutches out from under his feet because I thought he was going to make me late. It’s not like I think this behavior is okay. It’s just that I’ve spent more time sitting in Lincoln Tunnel traf­fic than most kids spend in front of the TV.

For a full six months after entering therapy, I felt [...]

The following is excerpted from Mike Birbiglia's Sleepwalk with Me, specifically the chapter about his experiences touring with his hero, Mitch Hedberg.

One night Mitch was onstage and in the middle of his set he said, "Oh no, I got to go to the bathroom. Can someone come onstage and tell a joke?" There was this long gaping silence, then he said, "I'm serious, you guys. I really gotta go." And it's still silent. People didn't know what to do.

Backstage I turned to Lynn and said, "Are you gonna go up?"

"Will you?" she said.

"Okay."

I walked onstage and approached Mitch. He didn't know I was [...]