"You know my favorite. It's your favorite too," my Bubbe said to me with the same rascally grin she had when she first told me our favorite joke. Though, it was now missing a few teeth, from when she said "fuck it" with her dentures, around when she moved in with parents for hospice care. Still, teeth-be-damned, she couldn't withhold that smirk. See: it's a dirty joke; it's a dark joke; it's a joke that over time has drifted onto the wrong side of political correctness; it's the greatest joke ever.
She first heard "the one about the dead nun" on one of the regional, elderly bus tours she took [...]
When I was five minutes old, my father gave my umbilical cord to a man in a pinstriped suit, who was waiting in the hall. “He’s going to bank your cord blood, son. It might be useful someday. God knows they want a king’s ransom, but your mother and I want you to have every advantage.”
“Ga,” said I.
My sainted mother fought thrush infections in both her breasts and cracked nipples that bled like open wounds in order to provide me with mother’s milk until I was two years old. “I want to tear my chest off,” she cooed in my ear, “but I can’t imagine not giving [...]
It's the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, which means lots of travel and lots of family time. It's a double-edged sword: it's always nice to see family, for a time. But when you're sleeping in your old bedroom for a few nights, waking up to and going to sleep after spending the day with the family with few opportunities to take a breather, things can get tense. Here, allow me to give you some things to do when you need a break from all of the forced family fun of Thanksgiving.