Crowdsourced Edits to Various DIY Home Improvement Instructions to Account For My Incompetence, by Roger Taylor
• Before starting the job, put on shoes and pants.
• You’ve heard the phrase, “Measure twice and cut once”? Please measure three times. And then have someone else measure, because you aren’t doing it right.
• The only acceptable object with which to hammer is a hammer.
• If you don’t have a ladder, borrow one from a neighbor. Stacking a stool on top of a coffee table seems like a bad idea now, so think of how bad it’ll seem once you’re up there.
• I know that the four-year-old, unsealed tube of caulk is appealing because it’s already in the house and doesn’t [...]