Today, we are making Red Velvet Cupcakes with Creamy Vanilla Icing. This old family recipe was brought to America by my great-grammy Eleanor, who probably wouldn’t understand why you are still moping about Jeremy.
Ingredients:
• 3 1/2 cups cake flour
• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 1 laptop computer, for playing Pandora and refreshing his Facebook profile
• 6 tablespoons red food coloring
• 1 healthy sense of self-restraint (If self-restraint isn’t available, substitute deleting his number from your phone)
• 2 eggs (for cupcakes)
• 2 more eggs (for pondering how only the thinnest of shells protect our yolky, runny insides)
• 2 additional eggs (for [...]
Listen up, kid. In my 12 years of walking the beat, I’ve learned what it takes to survive in the big city. But there ain’t many police like me. Nuh-uh. Usually cops end up as one of two schmoes: Either doe-eyed rookies burnt out after a few months, or Grey-Hairs sucking down a cold cup of Joe in the bullpen because they couldn’t hack it out on the streets. Wanna know my secret to avoiding those fates? I’ll tell ya. It’s because when I put on the badge in the morning, I know exactly why I do it.
I want to protect and serve the fine people of New [...]
No need to thank me.
I’m just doing my job. My tireless, aggravating, hamster-wheel job.
But, it’s a job nonetheless, and I’m happy to be working.
Because folks such as yourself are always asking me how exactly it works, I thought I’d finally lay it all down on the line.
If you’ve ever wondered where complaints go, then you’re first of all asking the wrong question. What you should be asking is: Where are complaints lodged? And if you’ve gotten that far, you’re first to be congratulated for your fortitude and then should receive an answer:
COMPLAINTS ARE LODGED IN, WELL, A COMPLAINT LODGE, OF COURSE.
That’s where I [...]
Intro to Improvisation – Mondays 7:00
In this class you will work on overcoming your disdain for improv comedy brought on by years of Whose Line Is It Anyway? and a detrimental trip to ComedySportz in your teen years. It won’t be fully successful, but Monday nights are a television black hole, so what the hell? Expect to be overwhelmed at how many people in your class sound like they have a much more fulfilling job and/or life than you.
Prerequisites: Ability to be civil when you’re in a scene with “that guy” whose friends told him to take this class and who will be gone after the second [...]
Take everything you think you know about fantasy-themed house parties and push it out the window. This is our annual Game of Thrones premiere extravaganza. A night when loyalties are tested. Scandal conspires with intrigue. Deceptions reign. And this year, brace yourselves, because Dana is coming. With Mike and them.
All that said, we do ask that guests review a few basic house rules — for the den is small, and full of collectibles.
Arrive in costume. To avoid another year of multiple Ser Gerris Drinkwaters, we’ll be creating our own original GoT characters and costumes. If you haven’t personalized your sigil, there’s a super simple formula: take the [...]
