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Posts tagged as pablo goldstein

The Humor Section

You Know Who Else Almost Didn't Have A Bar Mitzvah? Drake., By Pablo Goldstein

by | January 30th, 2012

Seth, we need to talk. I was in the kitchen with Mom and she’s crying her eyes out. Now, I know that you’ve been acting out at Hebrew School lately. I understand. I was a troublemaker back in my day. But there’s a difference between disrupting class and what Mom just told me. She was on the phone with Principal Simmons who revealed some troubling things that you mentioned. Apparently, my oldest child doesn’t care if he has a Bar Mitzvah.

You know who else almost didn’t have a Bar Mitzvah? Drake.

Kid, you don’t know how fortunate you are. Growing up with two loving parents is not something [...]

The Humor Section

"Sweet" Larry Newsom, New York City Construction Worker, by Pablo Goldstein

by | December 12th, 2011

Oh, baby! Chuck, take a look at this fine piece of tail strolling up. She could feed a whole nursery with those things. Hey mama, come a little closer so I get a peek at what you got. Ya know, you should really get that mole checked out. It looks like it might be cancerous. Did you know that there are over 56,000 new cases of melanoma a year in the United States alone? The skin is the largest organ in the body. You gotta take care of it, honey. Especially in that area around your big ol’ titties.

Holy hell! Unless you’re all half-a-fags, you boys are gonna [...]

The Humor Section

Ethnics 101: Being An Ethnical Person, by Pablo Goldstein

by | October 24th, 2011

Hello, everyone. My name is Anders Tennyson and I’ll be your instructor for Ethnics 101, a brand new course here at The Learning Annex designed for the ad man who's testing the perilous waters of 21st century advertisement.

Allow me to welcome you to Obama’s post-racial society, the real land of opportunity. You probably have many questions. And these questions will all be answered as you join me in discovering what it takes to become an ethnical person.

“Ethnical? Yo, prof! What’s that?” you say.

I could give you the boring Webster’s definition, but it doesn’t exist. To be ethnical is to adhere to a system of subconscious choice [...]

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