Splitsider

"Daphne Zuniga: What equality means to me is that women are given their moment, their chance to stand alone before everyone, with dignity, and to know that no man is going to try to upstage … Evil Robot: [comes on stage, making robot noises] Zuniga: … with dignity… Evil Robot: Evil! Evil! Zuniga: Oh, no. Evil robot from the future. Evil Robot: I am an evil robot from the future! Zuniga: I just said that. Evil Robot: It's my line. And I am an evil robot from the future. Zuniga: What do you want, evil robot? Have you come from the future to destroy humankind? Evil Robot: I come from the future to destroy … Stop saying my lines! I [...]

Screw all these other posers, science has gone and solved the issue of who should replace Michael Scott on The Office: a computer program designed to make double entendres. The program is called Double Entendre via Noun Transfer, or DEviaNT, and was created by two computer scientists at the University of Washington, Chloé Kiddon and Yuriy Brun. The program is based on an analysis of two bodies of text: 1.5 million erotic sentences, and another with 57,000 from standard literature. They then evaluated nouns, adjectives and verbs with a "sexiness" function to determine whether a sentence is a potential TWSS [That's What She Said]. Examples of nouns with [...]

Of the accounts that follow me on Twitter, half are spambots. About 15% are companies or organizations whose social media interns found me on a list somewhere, and another 15% are something in between: not definitely bots, but not exactly humans. Whatever they are, they're not "listening" in any meaningful sense. Among the remaining group are some people I like, some people I like a lot, some people I don't know, and a bunch of technology PR professionals who don't really have a choice.

My "Follow" list, in contrast, is cultivated with great care — it’s almost exclusively people I think are funny. But the funniest account I [...]

Here's the new video for "Open Your Eyes" by Alex Metric & Steve Angello feat. Ian Brown. It's notable for our purposes because it was directed by and stars Mr. Peter Serafinowicz, and is therefore awesome. I mean, it features Serafinowicz fighting a gigantic robot. What more do you need to hear?

And if you've never seen it before, you really should check out Serafinowicz's video for Hot Chip's "I Feel Better," which is even more insane than this one.

Jon Hamm is gonna make so many robot noises when he joins the next season of The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. More robot noises than this. Actually, it's weird that he even speaks any English in this clip because according to my intel, his character is a schizophrenic robot who has many robot personalities (my intel is a dream I had once). The new season starts Jan. 6.